Perfection [ warriorcats fanfiction ]

xi.i

Two apprentices.
That's all there was that night.
I think it was a tangible sign that everything was falling apart.

Nightpaw was now the one who wanted to shake some answers out of Barkpelt.
"You don't know?" The black apprentice lashed her tail. "You don't know?"

Barkpelt narrowed his yellow eyes. "That is correct, Nightpaw," he said coldly, "and I will not know until Blackpaw wakes up."

Nightpaw blinked. Puddlepaw began speaking instead.

"When's he going to wake up?"

The medicine cat turned to the tom apprentice. "I couldn't possibly know." Dawnpaw looked anguished, and the medicine cat's cold gaze softened. "You may go and visit him, if you'd like."

Dawnpaw nodded and, obviously trying to contain herself, slowly padded into the medicine cat den. The other two apprentices followed somewhat behind.

Nightpaw wasn't sure what they were going to find. She imagined Blackpaw dead or dying, curled in a corner struggling to breathe.

He looked dead. He looked dead but Nightpaw knew he wasn't.

He was sleeping, it seemed.

"Blackpaw!" Dawnpaw's voice was hoarse. "Are you okay?"

She touched her nose to her friend's shoulder. "Oh. He can't hear me; he isn't dead."

Nightpaw blinked in slight confusion but silently watched the other two apprentices sit down beside Blackpaw's unconscious form.

Puddlepaw twitched his ears. "I can't not know what happened," he murmured, almost to himself, though in the near-silence of the den it was impossible to think the other apprentices wouldn't hear.

Nightpaw narrowed her eyes, thinking. "I'm not sure either," she replied, "but he seems to be okay; at least, he's not getting any worse." She knew Ravenstep was part of this, she just couldn't piece together how until she knew exactly what had happened to Blackpaw.

"I'm going to see if Ravenstep is back yet," she ventured, conjuring a reason to leave the den. Blackpaw's still form unnerved her, and she wanted to leave as quickly as she could.

Puddlepaw nodded but stayed by his brother's side. Dawnpaw gave no indication that she had even heard her sister's words.

Nightpaw padded out into the middle of the camp, crunching fallen leaves underneath her paws.

Her stomach twisted as she thought of Blackpaw's lifeless form in the medicine den and her sister and friend faithfully sitting by his side.

Am I selfish because I'm not there?

She answered her internal question with a yes.

Nightpaw sighed. I should help with something, then.

Ravenstep padded into camp with Silverleaf, and Nightpaw found her something.

She ignored her mentor's mate for a moment, trying to avoid looking suspicious.

Ravenstep was obviously uneasy, and the lithe black cat kept glancing over at the medicine cat den.

Nightpaw narrowed her eyes, trying to keep her thoughts on Ravenstep, but she couldn't stop thinking about her mentor.

"They're going to die."

Silverleaf's voice was nearly silent, and at first Nightpaw thought she had imagined her mentor's words.

"They're going to die," she repeated, and the dark apprentice slowly padded closer to Silverleaf and her mate, perking her ears.

"They'll die if they're born here, you know that, and don't try to tell me otherwise."

Nightpaw toned down her spying long enough to feel a slight bit of pity for her mentor.

Silverleaf paced back and forth restlessly, lashing her tail. "Our kits are going to die, Ravenstep!"

Ravenstep twitched his ears. "They're not," he murmured, "don't worry, it's going to be okay."

Silverleaf barely suppressed a snarl. "You don't understand, do you." It wasn't a question. "You think it'll all be alright, you think nothing bad will happen to them-" she dropped her voice to a low whisper and Nightpaw strained to hear. "I can't stay here, Ravenstep. You know that."

Nightpaw frowned in slight confusion. So Silverleaf will....leave? Leave before or after she has her kits? How will she possibly take care of them on her own?

She won't. Or maybe not wont, can't is more like it, she'll want to but she won't be able to, not in leaf-bare, not alone.

I wonder how long she'll be away before she comes back, after she realizes she was wrong.

Nightpaw silently uttered a prayer to Starclan.

Silverleaf can't go, she thought, urging the perfect cats in the sky to somehow pass on her message. Her kits will die if she leaves.