Protect Me|JungkookxBTS

,15

Jungkook pov
I sat motionless on my bed, focusing on the hollow feeling deep inside my chest and the sharp pain in my stomach. I haven't eaten or slept in two days. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of those stupid dreams I've been having. Those dreams when I apparently sleep walk and molest the guys. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it, I can't even look Jimin or Taehyung in the eyes anymore.

My entire body jolted when Hoseok suddenly walked into my room, a plate of food in his hand. "Jungkook you need to eat." He demanded then stomped over to my bed, sitting down a little to close. Hoseok shoved the chopsticks and plate against my chest, "eat."

I looked up at Hoseok and gave him a pleading look, the smell of the food alone gave me an upset stomach. Hoseok sighed, "Jungkook if you aren't going to eat, then I'll feed you."

I opened my mouth in shock, giving Hoseok the opportunity to shove some rice down my throat. My instant reaction was to spit out the food but Hoseok clasped his hand over my mouth. Giving me no other option but to swallow it. Hoseok smiled, "Good boy."

My face heated up as the skin flushed red, the unusual nickname giving me a weird feeling. Hoseok's praise and proud smile suddenly making me desperate to please him. I opened my mouth, silently asking him to feed me more. Hoseok responded with a smile and carefully fed me small amounts of rice. The feeling of food inside my stomach was gross and it made me sick, but Hoseok's smile and the adoration in his eyes was enough to keep me going. I haven't made my hyungs proud in a long time, at least I can make Hoseok proud by completing a simple task.

"Good job kookie." Hoseok praised as he set the now empty plate down. I smiled shyly, the action felt weird, I haven't smiled in forever. Hoseok noticed my smile and gasped, "you're smiling!"

My smile instantly fell and was replaced with a scowl. Hoseok also noticed this, causing his excitement to instantly disappear. "S-sorry." He mumbled, his head bowed, hiding his happy and love filled eyes. I instantly felt bad, just because I'm miserable doesn't mean everyone else has to be. Using my new found courage I gently ran my fingers through Hoseok's soft hair, something I used to do to help him sleep. Hoseok's shoulders slumped as he relaxed into the touch, he's like a cat.

"Jungkook ah." Hoseok whispered, his head raising so we were making eye contact, heated eye contact. I swallowed around the lump in my throat, "yes hyung?"

Hoseok smiled painfully, the expression hiding his true feelings, "I've missed you."

I casted my eyes down to stare at the bed, "I miss you too." Even though we're in the same room and are practically pressed against each other. It still feels like we're oceans apart. I was surprised when I didn't shy away from Hoseok's touch, the warmth and roughness of his fingers against my cheek stirring something inside me. Something I'd rather forget about. I allowed myself to be guided by Hoseok's strong hand, my body shaking with nerves. Hoseok stopped when our lips were inches apart, I could sense him retreating and for some reason, I didn't want him to stop. So I closed that one inch gap between our lips. The feeling of someone else's skin against mine used to make me sick but Hoseok's lips are so soft and so sweet. Sweeter than any dessert I've ever had.

Hoseok was gently as he caressed my face, pulling me closer inch by inch until I was straddling his waist with my thighs. Hoseok broke the kiss first, his lust blown eyes staring up at me made me want to melt. Hoseok opened his mouth to speak but I stopped him with my mouth. I didn't want him to say anything or question anything. Because I have no idea what I'm doing myself.

I gasped when Hoseok's hand slipped under my shirt, his calloused fingers mapping out the skin of my back. Suddenly I thought of Lee, the way he'd press me against the mirrors or walls. The way his chest molded perfectly against my back, he used to tell me I was made for him, his personal fuck toy.

"N-no!" I cried as I pushed myself off of Hoseok and onto the bed, flashbacks of Lee burning into my eyes. "Oh my god Jungkook I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Hoseok babbled, a look of horror on his face. A pang of guilt stabbed me as I tried to regroup, the feeling of Lee and the smell of him surrounding me, with no way out. It was all to much and suddenly I couldn't breathe, my own bedroom suffocating me.

Hoseok yelled my name as I stumbled out of my room but I ignored him. Air, I need fresh air. I also ignored the worried glances of the guys as I hurried out of the dorms. Once I stepped outside I fell to my knees, the weight of the world pushing down on my shoulders. I didn't even know it was nighttime, the concept of time long forgotten in my fucked up mind.

I rested my hands on my knees and took slow shaky breaths, the crisp night air burning my nose and lungs, but it's a good burn. It's the kind of burn that reminds you that you're alive, I need this burn.

The members voices were muffled as they circled me and their faces were blurry. The crisp burn quickly turning into a suffocating choke hold around my body. Why can't these idiots just leave me alone?! My last string snapped when I felt someone touch me, the contact finally choking me until their was nothing left.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed before scrambling to my feet and pushing whoever was in front of me out of the way. I ignored the guys as I ran, the crisp burn in my lungs finally returning, bringing me back to reality. I stopped abruptly when I felt my legs give out on me, my hands and knees scraping against the rough concrete. "Fuck fuck fuck." I hissed as I caressed my injured hands, the crisp burn from the air making them sting. I didn't know what to do, the darkness around me suddenly becoming thick and blinding. I don't want to be alone. I held my hands to my chest as I cried, "Don't leave me alone."