Pranks, Pajamas and Pretty Bad Puns

Chapter Fourteen - I can wipe off 90% of that 'beauty' with a wet Kleenex

Chapter Fourteen - I can wipe off 90% of that 'beauty' with a wet Kleenex

Should I compliment Freya?

Nah.

Should I tell Sandra that there's toilet paper hanging out of her pants?

Nah.

Should I complete that maths assignment that's due for this afternoon?

Nah.

Procrastinating is my talent. Whether it's to clean the laundry or buy more condoms for my stinky ass brother, I procrastinate. But the real question here is:

Should I really be listening to whatever Mr Jenkins, the headmaster is saying right now?

Nah.

"...whatever you like in these three days," Mr Jenkins trailed off. My head shot up faster than that vein on Jackson's forehead.

"Whatever we like?" I repeated after him, awestruck.

"Yes, until Friday," he answered. A smile broke out on my face.

"Did you guys just hear that?" I asked, everyone quizzically. They all nodded at me. "This is awesome! So I can duck tape a teacher and fling them out of the window?"

Mr Jenkins faltered a little before nodding.

"Promise?"

"Promise,"

"Cross your heart and hope to die?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die,"

"Stick a needle in your eye?"

"Uh.....yeah..." he faltered.

"WOOOOHOOOOOOOO!" I screamed, jumping on the nearest desk. "Suck my non-existent dick, motherfuckers!"

"Er-Charlot-"

"Take that, you freaking rhinoceros!" I screamed, hitting the nearest guy in the face with a period pad. The guy grabbed my wrist and flung it off and walked off muttering something like 'dumb bastards these days'.

"THIS IS AWESOME, I COULD KILL MR REYNOLDS, AND GET AWAY WITH IT!"

"Not really. You can't do anything against the law," a familiar voice said. I whizzed around to see a smirking Mr Reynolds. "If you need me to translate that into bullshit, just ask," he smiled.

Ass.

"Freaking retarded whale," I murmured under my breath. And then the truth dawned on me. "You lied! You freaking cushion!" I said, pointing at Mr Jenkins.

"How?" He asked, confused.

"You said I could fling a teacher out of the window," I frowned. "Which is against the rules,"

"Uh...yeah..."

"Now you gotta stick a needle in your eye, you used tampon!"

"Miss Ridgewood, stop being a pain in the ass and please leave so we can get on with our lives. Which you would obviously not know about because you don't seem to have one," Mr Reynolds said.

"Drink my period blood, you hippo!"

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Okay, the school is literally bat shit crazy.

There are students super glueing classroom doors together and there's a booby trap every step you take.