Chapter Three - I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days
Mmmmm. Sprinkles and icing all luxuriously lathered onto a ring of pastry. Gleaming and shiny, it's calling your name. Just one bite and you're in food heaven. Paradise.
You know that moment of utter bliss when you bite into your favourite food?
Yeah?
That's me, right now. Skipping along the road with a pink, sparkly donut in my hand and a smile so wide that it covers the horizon.
Only one problem, though.
I frickin' missed my motherducking bus. Stupid bakery. Stupid donut.
Did I just insult my donut?
I am such a savage. Take that, donut! Don't mess with me. *flicks hair but ends up slapping cheek*
Donut: shut up bîtch. Hurry up and eat me.
Um..nuh-uh! Imma savour you for the whole bus ride.
Donut: Fvck life.
Bitch.
"Are you talking to a....donut?" Leo Parkinson asked me. As he jogged by my side.
You know those annoying f*ckers who annoy the crap out of you?
Yeah, legit definition of Leo Parkinson.
"No," I dead panned.
"Okay," he said, slowly.
"Okay,"
"Okay,"
"Okay,"
Beep! Beep! Beep!
The sound of the bus jogged us out of our awkward situation. At least I didn't burst into a Melanie Martinez song.
Wait, if I did, would it make Leo fück off? Cause he annoys the shit out of me.
"Let's go, Charles Dickens," he said, wavering a hand at me.
"Ok, Leonardo Da Vinci,"
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Okay. So you know the time when you're crazy out of breath trying to catch a bus and the whole bus population look at you like some creep?
Yeah, that's kinda me and Leo right now.
"Aargh..wait ufff! Wai uff!" I called as I hopped on the bus pulled Leo by the collar. I got out my bus ticket out if my wallet.
Only thing is that I don't have a wallet. And I don't have a bus ticket. "AAAARRGHH! WHY IS MY LIFE SO MESSED UP!?" I yell.
If panting like a perverted hooligan didn't attract enough attention, then the move I pulled off definitely did.
"I'll pay for you," Leo whispers in my ear. I thank him by engulfing him in a bear hug. I them took a seat with my beautiful donut carefully placed in my hands.
"So you know the girl, Ruby, in my class, right?" Leo asks as he takes a seat next to me.
"Max and Ruby," I sing, remembering the TV show. "Ruby and Max,"
"SHUT UP!" The passengers on the bus snarl at me.
"Geez. Calm your tits," I say. I turned around and saw two guys staring back at me. One guy was happy and the other was giving me a dirty look.
Logan gave me a wave as Jackson was probably churning up a way to kill me. Maybe rip out my eyelashes and hang me from my eyelids? Or maybe cut off her hair and stick it to her feet.
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Pranks, Pajamas and Pretty Bad Puns
Humor"eBay is pretty useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches," I laughed, nervously as his hot breath fanned my face. His breathing was rough and he bore through me with his electric green eyes. "I want to fucking kill yo...
