Shards of a Heart

Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Now

My head is buzzing. It's him. After 7 months, I thought he was gone. He's here. He's a survivor. My emotions finally catch up as I process what just happened and tears start streaming down my face. One falls on my phone laying in my covers. Then I'm sobbing along with the boy on the other side of the phone, one who I knew so well.

"Cee," He says again, my name sounding foreign coming from his throat. "Are you still there?" I can hear him take a breath and hold it before adjusting the phone, resulting in a staticy sound.

"Y-y-yes," I hear Camdon let out the air he'd been holding in. "H-how? And when?" I ask, then immediately regret it. I should've asked him how he was, or told him how much I missed him.

"How?... I'm not sure Cee. I overheard them say something about it was very unlikely I would, but I- I woke up." his breathing slows on the other end as he calms, and I try to mimic it unsuccessfully. "I tried to call you a few days ago, but couldn't get your number. I didn't get my computer back until today and saw your email with your new number." He pauses.

I'm silent for a few seconds before speaking again. "Do you remember anything? From when... and from when you were asleep?"

"Yes," He says quietly. "I remember... everything until I got to the hospital," I suck in and close my eyes. I don't even remember it all, and I wasn't knocked out. "Then I remember a few times in the hospital. Mostly just the sound of the machines, I didn't have the strength to open my eyes. But I do remember when you came once,"

"When?" My heart races as I think back to all the embarrassing things I said to him. There were times that my Dad said that I went and saw him, but I was too drugged up on my own medicine to remember.

"You told me... about Jade." my heart slows. I only said her name once in the hospital. "You said you loved me, then made sure to correct yourself about how it was not 'the romantic kind', but as a brother,"

I can almost see him smiling now. Of course the picture I construct in my brain is healthy Camdon, before the incident, not the Camdon laying lifeless in a hospital bed hooked up to machines that controlled whether he lived or died. I shudder at that image.

"I tried so hard to say 'I love you back' Cee," his voice cracks. I look down and realize I'm twisting my fingers, slick with sweat, together. "But I couldn't. And It killed me Cee. I knew I was going to die, and I couldn't even remember the last stupid thing I said to you,"

Now it's my turn to be strong as I hear a mournful sob. "But you didn't Cam, that's all that matters."

"I know," On the other end I can hear him blow his nose. In any other circumstance, I would have laughed. He hated blowing his nose with people around. It was one of his pet peeves. But I couldn't laugh.

I think back to what Ms. Penny used to tell me when I reminisced too much and lost my mind over it. "Cam, how about we talk about something different okay?" The words don't sound like my own, but the sounds from Camdon's end lessen as I hear him calm down again. "I'm going to a new school" I randomly say, hoping to get a happier conversation flowing.

"I know." I cringe at the way he says it. It's as though I was babying him and he caught me. Guilt flows through me, but I know it's my imagination. "How is it?"

"It's okay" I answer. Small talk, but it's a start.

"Friends?" His voice is light, a good sign.

"Not yet, but friendly people. There's this guy in my astronomy class who talked to me. He also saved me from my teacher." I give him a quick summary of what happened. "And there was a girl who gave me my necklace back. I don't know how I'd live without it"

"Necklace? I thought you hated jewelry and only wore your ring"

I mentally scold myself. Camdon's been in a coma for seven months, he's still stuck in February. "It's our rings, molded together with glass from... yeah." No need to bring that up again. "My dad made it for me before we moved so I wouldn't lose Jade's ring."

"How can you stand that?" his tone is harsh, and I'm taken aback. "Sorry" He apologized quickly. "It's just, I'm kinda scared of glass right now,"

"It's okay Cam, so was I. My therapist got me over it though. I mean, I still hate buildings with a ton of it, but a small, rounded piece doesn't scare me." I explain. I haven't talked about that for a while, and it feels good to let it out. I'm sure Camdon was relieved too; he wasn't alone in that battle anymore.

"Your therapist, Ms. Penny."

I am again taken aback. How would he know that? The only person who knew I even had a therapist was my Dad. Well, and Jade of course."You know her?"

"She's my therapist now. I told her about you right away and... we want to come see you."

I think my heart skips a beat. A grin spreads across my cheeks as I wipe away my tears. "Really? That'd be awesome! I mean, the house isn't put together yet-"

"It'd be a while Cee," His voice cuts like a shard of glass.

I frown again, suddenly embarrassed. "Sorry, I know. Sorry." I apologize, then am greeted by a prolonged silence that overstays its welcome. Uncomfortable, I clear my throat, ready to speak again, but having know idea what I'm going to say.

"Cee, I need to go to bed now," His voice saves me. For a second I'm relieved, but then I process what he said.

Desperate for more time, I quickly make up an excuse "But it's only-" I look at the little old fashioned alarm clock on my nightstand, "six!"

"Cee, I'm still in the hospital." Realization hits me like a rock. I feel stupid for not knowing. He'd only been awake for a few days, so of course... "I only get certain times on my phone, and I have a checkup in literally 30 seconds. I have to go."

I let the idea float for a second, then decide that what's best for him is better than what I want. "Okay... Just call me when you can?"

"Of course" My heart breaks as he says his famous line. He's still the same Camdon. "It was good to hear your voice; to know your okay"

"Ditto." The next word is hard. I feel like once I say it I'll never see him again, never talk to him again. I'll wake up and this will all be a dream. "Bye,"

"Bye." The line clicks off.

I walk to my computer and start composing a message to Jade.

Dear Jade,

Camdon just called. I can't believe it either. I missed him so much. I know you miss him too. Your probably mad that he didn't call you first. Maybe he did, I'm not sure. It seems like he had a choice between us, who he'd see. I guess he chose me. I want to see you so bad Jade, but I know that in order to do so, I'll be hurting a list of people, and tonight one more person just got added to that list. Maybe more people will be added soon too. Oh, and if you're wondering if i cried, I'm not going to lie: I did. But Cam did too!

I think I just heard my dad get home, I need to tell him. I'll update you soon.

~Cee