Shards of a Heart

Chapter 24

Chapter 24 - Now

    I sleep in the next morning, insomnia playing tricks with me the night before. My dad is gone again, and I sleepwalk through my morning routine before deciding I should do my math homework. I barely sit down before the doorbell rings. A shiver rushes through me as I peek out the window and see Francis looking back up at me.

    Normally I'd be okay with him showing up. Actually I'd normally love it. But his perfect smile causes me to swallow before slowly heading down to the door.

    He greets me with a hug, but its fake. I can tell something is bothering him.

    "Francis why-"

    "You want to talk right away? No greeting even? You're awful at hiding things Cee." His voice is laced with ice, the words crawling down my spine and causing a cold ripple. Two nights ago he said he wouldn't call me that name, and now it was licking my neck with its icy tongue.

    "What are you - I - I'm just not in the mood that's all" I roll my eyes and give him a hurt frown, but his eyes stay sharp and dangerous.

    "Alec" He crosses his arm, closing the door with his foot as he steps inside more.

    "What about him" I look away from his stare, subconsciously knowing it'll make me look guilty, but not caring because memories flood my already waterlogged mind.

    "You didn't tell me he came over yesterday"

    "We did a project for school. I made him leave because he was rude. I didn't think I needed to tell you everything I did. Do you want me to text you every time I open my door? Or even better, every time I take a -"

    "Shut up." He takes a deep breath in. "You're my girlfriend. Not Alec's"

    "I am aware" I notice that the way I speak sounds similar to how Alec apologized to me.

    "No secrets Celia! I already know you have a big one you're hiding, Alec made that clear. And you lied to me! You told me he wasn't coming ov-"

    "Plans change!"

    "I don't like the idea that you could be cheating on me with some lowlife! You shouldn't touch another guy much less have them over!"

    "Oh really" I cross my arms as well, squinting my eyes as a memory pops into my mind. "What about that girl... um Tracy?"

    "What about her" His face grows a little whiter as realization hits me.

    "At the party. You didn't know I'd be there and she was sitting in your lap doing I don't know what, then you got all mad when you saw me before you became all FAKE. All you ever are is fake." I say the last part quieter.

    "You're making that up" His face betrays him. What I said was true and he knows it.

    "We're over Francis. You can't have double standards."

    "You beat me to the punch line" He spits and slams the door. I hear the engine start up. He drives away with a skid.

    I realize later that he probably will tell everyone he broke up with me because I cheated on him. I don't care.

    After an hour of lying in my bed, swallowing my hurt and staring up at the ceiling, I decide I need to talk to someone, a coping mechanism Ms. Penny had taught me. My insides are eating me alive, and my mind is spinning in circles about how I could be in the wrong and that I was seeing things at the party. How I could be making up a lie just to cover my guilt of fibbing about Alec. But, I always came to the same conclusion though: I was glad Francis was gone.

    I try Camdon, but as normal, he doesn't pick up. I start to dial Jade's number from habit, then stop. A tear falls down my cheek finally - for her of course, not Francis.  Maybe I should call my dad? I have no clue where he was, but I know he'd come if I called. I ponder it before typing a number.

    "Hello?" he picks up on the first ring.

    "I need you" I sound pathetic as another tear falls - this time I'm unsure of who its for. I didn't know I had any left. I regret my decision to call him, but his next words reassure me I did the right thing.

    "What? Like right now? Need me to do wha-"

    "I need to talk" I swallow. He cares. "In person I think"

    "I'll be over in ten minutes."

    "Thanks"
    "And Cee?" I don't shiver, the name feels right on his tongue. "Don't do anything stupid before I get there"

I hear him hang up and look down at my hand that I wasn't holding my phone with. It is clenched tight, and I begin to feel the pain, so I relax my hands and pull my nails away from my skin. Four red crescents mark their presence with crimson. The thick blood from my palms starts to flow out, now that the weapon used is no longer clogging the marks. Blood starts dripping, almost touching my blanket. In a moment of panic, I rush to the bathroom and run them under the water. It stings, so I pool the water in my other hand and slowly and softly let it drip onto my injured palm. Soon the color has been washed from my skin, and now is only present as a few diluted drips in the sink where the faucet didn't reach

    To pass time, I find the fingernail clipper and cut the weapons on my hands short, taking my time with each finger, making them perfectly round and short enough so they can't do more damage even if I wanted them to.

    Clip, clip clip.

Pain, sorrow, hurt,

Clip Clip Clip.

Jade, Cam, Dad.

Clip, clip, clip.

Anger.

I finish and put the tool down, rubbing my palm on a kleenex again since the wounds were deep enough for it to continue bleeding a bit after I had nursed them. There is a light tap on the bathroom door before it swings open, causing my to drop the kleenex on the counter and turn towards the movement.

"Decent?" a voice asks hesitantly. I look into his face, which is half covered by his hand.

"Yeah" I whisper with a sigh of relief.

He pulls his hand away, takes a quick look at me, his head tilting a bit, and engulfs me in a hug.

A real hug.