Shards of a Heart

Chapter 21

Chapter 21 - Now

To be entirely honest, I'm a little antsy about Alec coming over. My dad is gone for the day again, but I had informed him about a 'friend' coming over for a school project. He was too concerned about himself to give me another look.

What I'm mostly nervous about is what the project is on. I don't like talking about school attacks, it makes my heart race and the air rush from my lungs. A very unsettling feeling, especially when you have to sound smart in order to get an A on the project.

But another part of me is scared. I hardly know Alec, and more than half the times I saw he him was in a fight or ready to be in one, and 100% of the time he had that dark clouded look in his eyes that made me shiver.

I am up earlier than 11, but thankful Alec has planned later so I can prepare myself. I set my laptop at my small desk, pulling a chair from downstairs next to the one already there. I then clean my desk so we have more room, and open a new browser, closing all my already open applications. By 1:30, I'm caught up on all my other school work and have soft study music playing on my mom's record player while I munch on some of the lunch I had made for myself. I realize I still have a half an hour, probably even later since Alec doesn't seem like the kind of person to be on time, so I reopen my email to talk to Jade.

Dear Jade,
It's the next day (obviously) and Alec is going to be here soon. Remember I told you about him? I don't know what to do. I really need your advice Jade. The great Jade Payne, I used to call you in middle school remember? When you had never had a boyfriend but gave excellent advice to our friends? Then you that new kid, James, showed up and you never stopped with that boy. He broke up with you only two weeks later, but in middle school that was a very long time... Why am I even telling you this? It's your life, you probably remember it in perfect detail. I don't even remember the name of the guys you took to the Valentine's Day Dance. Boys were like accessories to you. You'd get bored with them after I while. I always would say that you'll never find a guy to settle down with, but then you'd ditto me because I was so picky... Ugh Jade sorry for the morbid stuff. The Day Dance... Sorry I need to think of something else. Would you believe me if I said that I was crying right now? Who am I kidding, you know that I am. I need to stop soon, it's... oh crap it 1:59. Let's just leave it on a good note: I am done with almost all my homework and it's only saturday! I'm not procrastinating for onc

I stop typing, the doorbell just rang. With a quick click I minus out my unfinished email and rush downstairs. Alec is exactly on time. Who would have thought.

"Let's not waste time with pleasantries becuase I just want to get out of here as soon as possible" he states monotonously when I open the door, my mouth hanging open from my suffocated greeting. He looks past me into the kitchen as I open the door wider, allowing him to step in.

"My dad's not home," I say, assuming that's what he was wondering.

"I really don't care. Where's your computer?"

"In my room," I sigh and lead him upstairs, his irritated persona latching onto me and morphing my own mood to match his.

As soon as I open the door, the record still playing softly since I flipped the side a few minutes before he came, he spots my laptop and sits down in my chair. I don't argue, taking a seat next to him in the uncomfortable kitchen chair. He acts like it's his own computer, opening a document and sharing it with himself before opening up the internet and clicking the bookmark for Google.

"Okay, so we need to start deciding what attack we want to do it on" He murmurs while typing in 'unsolved 1900s school attack.' The words stings, and I can feel my heart begin to speed up, so I take a few deep breaths. He rolls his eyes at the computer screen, but I catch it and stop breathing as loud.

I watch as he starts digging through the articles, dating attacks in the 1900s. He looks bored as he scrolls through news articles and lists. I try not to look at the screen but more at him, studying how his face twists with each article, either interested or disgusted, I couldn't tell. I was hoping for the later.

"Oh look at this one." he pulls up a big article, the title screaming:

489 Kids Dead, Mysterious School Bombing Never Solved

I shiver, and he visibly rolls his eyes at me, mumbling something about me having being 'weak'. I ignore it and swallow, scanning the page with him. I can't take my eyes off the article, even though I want to. The bombing happened to a large city school in New York in 1958, and there was tons of pictures of the aftermath littered across the page.

Alec scrolls fast, skimming, so I only pick up a few words that cut holes in my heart. Death, bomb, kids, horrific, disaster, friends, cry, loss.

I pull my eyes away as I feel tears in my eyes. My breathing is noticeably heavy, and I feel like I'm going to suffocate. I stand up too quickly and the chair tips, baning Alec arm. He flinches away, and glares at me as I head to the window to open it.
"I'm going to look at more recent stuff. There's not enough information here to write a well written response" He says into the screen, as I breath the humid air, not helping the tight feeling in my lungs and chest. The wind, which isn't usually strong, blows a few papers from the pile on my desk, so I shut it quick.

"I-" my voice is high, like how when I was little and got hurt on the playground but wanted to be tough, so I clear my throat when he looks at me and I fake a smile "I have to use to the bathroom. Excuse me"

He must have bought it, because he looks back at the screen. I should have maybe thought about him snooping on it, but he looks to invested in his work. Anyway, I'm not hiding anything. If he sees my email to Jade, he probably won't even be offended since I already told him that I hate him.

I close the door across the hallway, and lean against it, before sliding down to sit, breathing even harder than before. My eyes are dry, but I heave like I'm crying, so hurry to the toilet.

It's not an ill throw up, but I do let my guts out into the toilet. I wipe my mouth, looking away from my breakfast and lunch. I should have thought about that before anyway, I've never had a strong stomach. I get sick in even the dumbest of movies, such as Final Destination. I shake my head and lean back against to the door, but now water is dripping down my face and I am gasping for air.

I try being quiet, I do, but in a few minutes I hear a knock on the door.

"Celia?" Alec's voice almost doesn't sound like his, and I choke back my tears quick. "Are... are you okay?"

I nod, forgetting he can't see me.

"If you don't answer, I'm going to break the door. I just need to know your not..." he stops and I clear my throat.

"Yeah i'm sorry." I start, surprised that I actually am sorry, because it's Alec I'm talking to. "I just have a weak stomach and I was already feeling sick this morning. You know, the party" I'm again surprised by myself, coming up with a perfect excuse.

"Oh okay." His voice goes back to his normal stoney sound, with only a hint of what it had been seconds before. "I'm going to keep working, come out when you're not going to throw up on me" He almost laughs at himself, I can hear because the doors are thin.

I close my eyes, but memories swarm my head again.

• • • • • • •
First day of school was a success! I'm at a new district, but made a lot of friends at the football games that I had classes with so that helped - a lot. I hate my English teacher though, she acts like I'm 12. Sure, I'm probably ahead of most kids because I like english, but still, I don't need to have things explained 7 times. Maybe in math yes, but not honors English.

Sorry for the rant, just annoyed with her.

Okay anyway hope you like this chapter... we are one away from the climax! Yeahhhh. And the plot twist...

Stay Gold,
AJ♥️