All or Nothing (Faberry)

6. Open your heart

Rachel's POV

"I didn't mean to hurt her. She hurt me. She dated Finn. She took him away from me when all I tried to do was to take him away from her. All this.. Becuase I knew she was madly in love with him, so the only way to make him avoid her was to date him. She won though, she won him while she slowly lost me."

I took a deep breath, trying not to freak out. Not to shout, not to wake her up. I turned the page and read from another part of the journal.

"I know that woman haven't done anything to me, but seeing her happy made me so damn angry so I had to make sure she never smiled again. I "accidentally" stole her ID, her bank card.. And well, her kid is in a wheelchair, temporarily. That part really was an accident. I panicked."

I can't tell if all this was real or not.. Was Quinn.. Crazy? Was she evil? Was I right about her, about all I ever thought she was but pushed away..? If I kept reading, it would make me a real jerk but that thought flew away as soon as I understood that taking her journal, invading her privacy made me a jerk in the first place. With other words, I kept reading.

"I remember pushing Jasmine, a freshman, a dork with no friends. I pushed her into the toilet stall with the help of Santana, but that coward left as soon as she knew what I was about to do. She said it was too much, that I had gone to far.

I took Jasmine's wrist and gave her a cut with the blade hidden in my wallet. She cried, she cried a lot. Claiming I ruined her skin.. But truth is, she was dirty anyway. We all were. I asked Jasmine, I said "Have you ever tried killing yourself?" she just cried more. She tried to resist me, she tried to run out. I think she thought I would murder her or something, I wasn't going to.. I'm not evil, I'm just mean.. Sometimes. However, I let her go, that little freshman"

I stopped reading, and this was only after page 5 of the journal, I didn't understand how someone could be that cruel. I always knew Quinn was a bitch sometimes but I never believed she was truly evil, from the heart and out. Never.

I closed the journal and walked back to the bedroom and slipped it into her bag, I placed it right in the way it was before. I laid down on my side of the bed, with no hope at all that I would get any sleep tonight. I was scared of the fact that Quinn had been so obsessed, not only with me.. But with hurting others, hurting people who were happier than her. I turned around so my face was facing hers. Her small inhales, her perfectly shaped nose and lips and the blonde hair spread all over the pillow. When I saw Quinn's face, I didn't think Evil. I thought butterflies, I thought perfection.. I thought about her voice whispering into my ear earlier tonight saying "you didn't have a clue.." while we were lying on the floor right in the middle of the room with her arms around my waist. I thought about all our memories, fights and I wondered how it would feel to kiss her.

I looked over at the digital clock on my right side. 6.07 am. That means I slept for one hour. Thank God for that. I haven't stopped thinking about what I read.. And God knows I won't be able to fight myself, I know I will keep reading even though I'll do my best not to. As long as the journal is there and I know it's easy for me to take it, my stubborn side wins.

My dilemma right now is if I should to tell Quinn I know, or act like I know or just play cool and pretend I know nothing until I've read enough.. Or the whole thing. I want to know her secrets, the darkest ones. The secrets she wouldn't tell any living soul on this planet.

****

"Quinn?" I asked when we sat outside at the coffee place just around the corner from the diner.

My shift had just ended and Quinn was shopping so we decided to meet up right after. It was a sunny, spring day and we had no plans so why not.

"Yes?"