All or Nothing (Faberry)

10. Happy Birthday

Rachel's POV

Quinn. Quinn, damn it. I was in love with Quinn. In some kind of twisted way I've always known it, in some way, I've always felt it inside me that she out of all people is in fact different. She's special. It's hard to explain the feeling. All I can say is that with Quinn, I feel comfortable being myself but I also feel comfortable not being myself. It's twisted but so was this whole relationship and I loved it anyway.

Today was my birthday. I woke up to the smell of pancakes and right on my face the sun shone in from the curtains that had been opened up, Obviously by Quinn. I fought with all the power inside me to open up my eyes and appreciate Quinn's effort. I turned around and sat up properly as she with her usual mysterious smile put the tray of pancakes, a glass of orange juice and blueberries in front of me. 

"Eat up, birthday girl" she smiled and went out of the room after planting a kiss on my forehead.

I ate up the pancakes, they were great and also a lot of them but I did finish up the whole plate. I didn't want Quinn to think I didn't like them. I only wished she'd stay and allow me to share them with her if she now hadn't eaten any before me. However, somehow she sensed that I was done or she had been watching me but she walked in right when I was done with a smile on her lips.

"Were they any good?" she asked and held her hands behind her back. 

"Yes, thank you so much" I said and she picked the tray up from my legs and placed it on the floor.

"Here, I got you a little something" she said and gave me the little box she had hidden in her hands behind her back.

I took the box and held it before opening up. I looked at Quinn and she smiled at me and gave a little nod. I started unwrapping it and the gift slowly started to appear. When I finally saw what it was my heart nearly dropped. She remembered. A few weeks ago me and Quinn were walking by the same place we were at when we visited New York the first time, together. It was a little shop that was kind of hidden in a corner, owned by a small irish man, or he sounded irish. We went in and there was this antique, old school camera that I really wanted but I didn't have the money to buy it just then. You know, those kind of cameras when you take a picture and it comes out directly. Now again we passed the store and it was still there, I had the money for it now but Quinn talked me into not buying it even though I really wanted to. She said things like "What's it for? Old stuff get broken easily, don't waste your money on crap" but now I understood why she said that. 

"Quinn, you.."

"I know" she said and I swear the smile on her face didn't leave her lips since I saw her. It made me happy seeing her like this.

"Thank you so much" I said and approached her face with my lips pointing right at hers "This was really thoughtful" I said and kissed her. 

Somehow, our kisses always felt like magic. Like someone cast a spell on me and I automatically start smiling. I didn't know if it was like that for Quinn too but I hope it was. When we pulled away I picked up the polaroid camera up and snapped a picture of Quinn. She wasn't ready so she was wearing her smile, again and her eyes were dreamy, glued on mine. Or in this case, glued on the camera. I gave the picture a soft quick kiss and handed it over to her. 

"Look at how pretty you are" I said.

****

The morning passed fast and without even noticing it was dinner time. Quinn had been too nice to me all day and I really liked it. I liked that she actually tried and wanted to make this day work out perfectly. Again, I got caught by surprise when Quinn told me we were going out for dinner tonight, to celebrate my birthday. She didn't tell me where, she just said we were going out. The only detail I got was that it was a nice place so I got into the shower in time so I could start getting ready.

After around two hours we were both ready to go. I was wearing my embroidered keyhole shirt tucked into my short red skirt. It was simple but classy. Quinn had a short dress on. Hers was detailed in black and white and it was tight on her body. She looked quiet amazing. No, actually, she looked great. 

"You look perfect" she whispered into my ear as I was checking myself in the mirror. It sent shivers down my spine but I took it as another way of her telling me it's time to get going.

When we got to the restaurant I directly understood that this place was very expensive, and it also was a really nice place. I couldn't find ways to tell her but I was really happy. I mean it. I was happy. We sat down and a tall asian girl dressed in the typical waitress outfit gave us menus and I started looking through what they had. I decided to go with the risotto. I wasn't in the mood to try something new. The waitress came back after a while and Quinn told her what we decided to order. She wrote it down on a white piece of paper and walked away with what I felt like was a forced out smile. 

"So, what do you think?" she asked.

"I think it's amazing. Thank you" I said for like the fiftieth time today.

Quinn always looked so happy when I was near, I've noticed. When I was watching from a far, when she was cooking something up or when she was changing for example, she looked a bit grumpy. After we had been talking for what felt like a short time, the waitress returned with our plates in her hands.

"One risotto and one gnocchi con funghi" she said with a perfect italian pronunciation of the dishes. 

"Thank you" Quinn said and looked down at the food before her "Well, let's try this" she said and laughed as if she was a bit insecure about her choice.

The night went really well and we had been sitting there for almost two hours, weirdly, it all went so fast. It felt like we've just gotten here. 

"Are you happy?" she asked.

"Yes. I really am, Quinn"

"Good, bet you thought I wouldn't remember" she said and chuckled.

"No, I didn't" I confessed "But again, I'm really happy you did remember" I said and she held my hand that was lying on the table just some inches away from her.

I would have to say I'm lying if I didn't admit that it surprised me, I mean, I love Quinn but she wasn't usually intimate in front of others. I don't think she wanted people to see her being romantic with a girl. I mean, neither did I, at first. Now though, I couldn't care less. With Quinn, I didn't think about it. 

"Excuse me for a moment will you?" Quinn said and walked over to the same waitress that had been serving us all night. I watched her as they spoke and it looked like she was up to something. 

Quinn's purse was on the left side of the black wooden table right by her plate and when I saw it I remembered I told Quinn to put my lipstick in there because I didn't bring my purse. I reached for it and started to rout out for my lipstick. I knew it got a bit messed up so I wanted to look better for whatever Quinn was planning to do for me now. My hand kept digging after until it instead got a grip of some kind of jar. I picked it up and looked at it. I felt some kind of sickness inside me. 

Just as I turned around and got ready to confront Quinn I heard the waitress along with some other people from the staff sing happy birthday to me with a cake that was placed in front of me. I looked down on it and they had written "Happy Birthday Rachel" on it. There were candles placed in so I could do the whole make a wish thing. I looked at Quinn and she hadn't noticed everything yet, she just stood there, all happy and proud and waiting for me to respond to all of this. Maybe a smile or a hug, I don't know. Normally, of course, I would. I would get up and I would give her a kiss. But how could I possibly do that now?

"Rachel.. Are you okay?" Quinn asked when they had stopped singing and went to bring a knife to cut the cake up with. 

"Ask yourself, are you okay?" I said and threw the gallipot of pills right on the floor in front of her. The lid that held the pills in opened and they were all spread in front of her with the orange tinted little gallipot right there too, empty now. "I don't understand what you expect from me when you keep lying.." I quietly said, snatched my coat and left her standing there alone.