All or Nothing (Faberry)

11. Liar Liar I love you so.

Rachel's POV

Honestly, when you're so deeply in love with someone, I don't think anything they do could ever make you angry. I don't think anything they do could make you hate them. It's impossible. It really is. I know, it's stupid. It's stupid that no matter what Quinn does or what lies she feeds me with I just forgive her some days after, most times only some hours after. Does it make me pathetic? Or weak? I don't know, I haven't figured it out myself but all I'm sure of is that my love for her makes it so hard to let go. No matter what.

"Rachel.." she said when she walked into the apartment just a few minutes after me.

I didn't respond. My face kept looking down at the floor.

"Rachel, I'm sorry" she mumbled and sat down beside me on the couch.

I glansed at her and she was looking down at the floor as well.

"Please" she sighed and pressed her hand against mine but got shocked when I pulled it away.

"Quinn, I don't know what to tell you"

She now looked up and stared at me, she tried to make me look at her and it worked. I looked at her face and I could feel her regret it all just by looking at her. I knew her that well.

"You just need to know that it's hard to let go of drugs like that. It's not easy, Rachel" she calmly said and her eyes didn't look away from mine, not even once "Imagine having something you're obsessed with, something you know is really bad for you but you still keep it because you're so damn obsessed with the thing. Imagine being asked to get rid of it, would it be easy?"

It's like that with you, silly. It's exactly like that with you. I guess you could say in this case Quinn was the bad drug I was obsessed with.

"Obviously" I mumbled.

She didn't say anything, It's like she read my mind, like she knew how I felt. I tried to come up with something smart to say but I couldn't. I honestly couldn't. Quinn was so important to me and it hurt me more than anything that she lies and lies, over and over again. I can't do anything to stop it. I mean, we've been fighting about different lies she's told but I always, and I literally mean always forgive her. I can't find it in my heart to actually give up on her. On us.

"So how are you going to deal with this? Do you think we can try to.. recover from it?" she said and gave me a quick smile that vanished really fast.

"I don't know. I don't know if I can be with you. I can't keep letting you lie to me. It hurts me, Quinn. Don't you understand that it hurts me when you keep lying all the time?" I said and tried to sound as serious as I could.

"I said I was sorry. I'm sorry"

"Sorry doesn't help when you've used it a thousand times before. It just doesn't count anymore, it's useless"

I really didn't want to cause a scene. All I wanted was to get this over with. I wanted to decide what I really wanted because I was confusing myself with my thoughts. I one moment wanted to forgive her and the other ask her to leave me alone for good.

"You're not going to break up with me, both you and I know that" she said with the most annoying, stuck up tone I've ever heard her use.

"Why are you so sure about that?"

She looked nervous when I asked her that. Like she doubted herself. She looked like she was thinking, her eyes narrowed and she was lightly biting her lower lip. Just in the middle of nowhere Quinn stood up and looked away at the window.

"Because remember that time at the roof, or when you always cover me up when I've fallen asleep or when you always make me breakfast and the way you always smile when you see me after work or our little talks in the middle of the night?" she said right in front of me "I know I lied so many times, and you don't deserve any of it. I'm a shit person, a disgrace, I know. I'm so sorry, I really am. I'm sorry. But those moments between us are things you'll never get with someone else, never."