Locked Inside (Completed) #Wattys2017

Chapter 2

I gasped for breath as I jolted and sat up in bed. My t-shirt was drenched in sweat but at the same time, it was eerily cold that night. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand as I looked at the clock-4:30 am, it read.

I could feel my heart beating in my throat as I tried to push down the lump of heaviness. Endless tears started streaming down my cheeks. I buried my head in my hands as I cried for what seemed like forever.

I felt like a total loser!

The nightmare had been so intense I felt like I didn't want to live anymore. I got out of bed and paced in my bedroom till dawn.

At 6:30 am, I got into the tub for a bath. I didn't feel like doing anything. I didn't even start the geyser. I just stood under the shower.

The ice cold water ran down my body as I shivered. But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

My life was on a downward spiral. The past few years were plain havoc. Everything that could go wrong, did.

As I stood under the shower, I thought about it all..

I had a very good relationship with my father, James Crawford. My dad was a stock market broker. He met mom in the ER once when he took his brother to the hospital for a femur fracture. They fell in love, got married and had me. I am their only child.

Since mom was always busy at the hospital, he made sure that he came home early and spent some quality time with me. He never let me feel alone or left out.

You're my special baby. He would say.

I'll always be here for you. He would promise as he put me to sleep every night. Well, I guess he couldn't keep his promise.

Last year, my father was killed in a car accident. A reckless drunk truck driver rammed his truck into my dad's car from the front. He died on the spot.

I guess it was my fault. It was raining and I wanted to eat a honey and walnut cake as I watched my favorite movie.

I'll get it tomorrow when I get back from work, sweety. He tried to reason.

But I want to eat it now! Please daddy! Please please please! I pleaded. He'd spoilt me enough for me not to know when to stop.

Okay okay! Honey, I'll be right back. But you're going to have to stay back home. Your mother will be coming back soon and she forgot to take her keys with her. We can't keep her standing out in this rain, can we? You're going to be a good girl and open the door for her.

I still remember the last time I saw his handsome face as he walked out the door to fulfill my stupid wish. Never saw it again.

My mother was devastated. She refused to eat anything for the next few days. She just couldn't come to terms with the loss.

A few days later, when she started going back to work, I got the courage to finally tell her that I thought it was all my fault. That dad would still be alive had I not forced him to go get a cake for me. She just looked at me with a blank expression.

It's not your fault, honey. Don't blame yourself. Things happen. She had said as she patted me on my head and had gone inside her bedroom, now empty forever. I couldn't tell if she blamed me or not. But we never really spoke much. I guess she did blame me secretly.

After dad's death, I would always be alone at home. Eat my own food, do my own homework and sleep without a kiss on my forehead. I missed dad so much. I missed him everyday.

Because of mom's hectic schedule, I hardly ever saw her. She had almost become a stranger to me.

Now, almost after a year since dad died, my aunt and grandma suggested my mother start going out with someone. They thought she had 'changed' after dad's death. I thought she was no different than before, aloof.

Soon, she started seeing a guy from work, Dr. Mark. I hated him. He would get me gifts but I would just throw them in the corner of my room, unopened.

Did he think he could take dad's place? Never! My mom tried explaining to me why I should be more nice to him. I never listened to her. I didn't want to. I would run upstairs and lock myself in my room.

When all this was happening in my life, I went to the party of a girl from school. I thought, finally someone wanted to be friends with me. I was wrong. I was invited as the school joker.

Everyone made fun of me. Laughed at me for being a dork. But was I really? Or did these people make me? I don't know.

That same night, Samuel Richards, one of the most popular and hottest guys in school, walked up to me. From his breath, I could tell he was drunk. Maybe they sneaked it in with fake ids. I don't know.

The last of what I remember, he offered me some, we got high and had sex. I was too drunk to know he didn't like me. He only wanted to get into my pants. But the alcohol made me think otherwise. I thought he was actually into me. I fell for this delusion. I consented.

The next, he refused to even look at me. I guess that night was one which would be a secret forever. Or so I thought...

Three months later, with three consecutive months of a missed period, I thought of what was only obvious - I was pregnant.

My mother was rather upset when I told her. But she supported me nevertheless. Maybe she was ashamed of me.

I never told Samuel. I didn't want him to say anything rude to me. I wanted to cherish this as one good memory, maybe. In fact, I'm not sure what I wanted to think.

I would drop the child. I had to continue with school. I was too small for all these responsibilities. My mother agreed to my decision.

Unfortunately, there were a few complications in my pregnancy. I could die if I went ahead with the abortion. I would have to continue and give birth. That was my only way out.

Throughout the next 6 months, I changed from bad to worse. The teasing got worse at school. Students called me a wh**e. I got fat, couldn't fit into my old clothes. And I felt as though my mother only did what she did for me out of the feeling of duty, as a doctor.

A month before I was to deliver, I decided I didn't want to keep the baby. I couldn't look after myself, forget looking after something that would be totally dependent on me. This idea was also partly put into my head by my mother. By now, I didn't know If I loved or hated her.

The Jensons were a sweet couple. I chose them through an adoption agency. They were more than thrilled to adopt my baby.

A few weeks later, I gave birth, via cesarean section, to little baby Megan. The jensons let me name her. How sweet of someone who was taking my baby away.

The moment I held Megan in my hands, I felt completely different. I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time - happy. I had totally forgotten what that was like.

She was so small! So beautiful! So delicate. She held onto my little finger with her entire hand. She had features of both me and Samuel.

If only he were here with me to tell me it was okay. If only I could keep her. If only dad were here.

But things don't always go the way you want them to go, do they?

After giving her up, I was back to my old self, even worse, actually. My grades plummeted. I started failing classes.

Mel! Breakfast is ready! Come down quickly or you'll be late for school! I heard my mother's voice break into my thoughts.

I closed the shower tap and got out. My nails were blue and I had goosebumps. I wiped myself dry and wore my clothes.

Today was going to be a long day, just like every other day. And like everyday, I wish I were dead.

Author's note: hey! I hope you are enjoying the story. I'm sorry if this chapter is a little lengthy and intense but it gives you an insight into the life of Melissa Crawford. How her past made her what she is today. Continue reading to know what happens next. And don't forget to vote and follow! Thanks :-)