Locked Inside (Completed) #Wattys2017

Chapter 6

The rest of the day, I just sat there, feeling numb.

I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate on anything! It was frustrating.

I don't know how I'd gotten myself into this! What had I ever done wrong to have to go through all this?

I skipped lunch despite mom's persuasion and her offering me my favorite meal of burger and fish and chips.

I felt as though I wanted to end my life.

I even tried it. When mom went to the supermarket in the evening, I locked my door from the inside and cried my guts out before making the decision.

In the spur of the moment, I got a scarf from my wardrobe, tied it to the ceiling fan and made a loop.

With a moment's hesitation, I dragged a nearby chair closer to the loop.

Then, I stood on it.

As I slowly put the scarf loop around my neck, I could feel tears well up in my eyes. A lump was forming in my throat. I tried to push it down.

I stood there, almost for an entire minute but what was seeming like ages. My entire life was flashing right in front of my eyes.

I took a deep breath in.

How much my life had changed in the past year. Nothing was the same. Nothing would ever be the same.

Just as I tightened the noose around my neck, I heard mom's key work inside the door lock. This was followed by the front door opening and closing shortly after.

Honey! I'm home!

I quickly untied the scarf from my neck and the ceiling fan and kept everything back in place.

Even if I did go ahead with my plan right now, she was just downstairs. Totally capable of saving me from dying. I didn't need that.

The plan would have to wait.

Just as I put the stool away, mom knocked and entered my room.

How are you feeling sweety? She asked.

About what? About how dreadful my life is? Well, it's not getting any better. I scoffed.

Well, If you want it to get better, you will have to start by dropping this attitude. What is it with you lately? She sounded more annoyed than concerned.

I didn't reply.

Anyway, I got you a pizza from Madelain's. Also, I rented despicable me, your favourite movie of all times to go with it! Care to join me for dinner? She winked.

Now, every other problem in the world aside, nothing could keep me down when it came to pizza.

Pizzas are like my love. My only love. No matter how upset I am, pizza is one thing that can always light my mood right back up.

So when I heard that mom had bought be a pizza from my most liked pizza place, I couldn't resist.

As I enjoyed the pizza and the movie, snuggled with mom on the sofa, I tried forgetting all that happened in school today. I tried pushing all the details to the back of my head, hoping to forget them.

But for any of you out there who have ever experienced sad things, I'm pretty sure you know that when people say that time heals all wounds, they are just lying.

Time never heals anything. It just makes things more bearable. The pain never goes, you only learn to live with it, forever...

As I made a mental note to go see Dr. Cross the next morning, as a last resort for help, I was also simultaneously preparing my mind to go through with the plan, the next time I decided to end my life.

Because things never get better, you see. They only get worse...