Just

Prologue

Niall’s  P.O.V.    

I emptied the contents of my pockets onto the kitchen table. That included my practically empty wallet, my keys, and my cracked up iPhone 4S. My brothers don’t make much money. Like at all. I’m the only one in the family with an iPhone. Well I was. After tonight I will be dead.

I was scrambling around the small one bedroom apartment now. One bedroom. Two brothers. Being the youngest, I got the couch. There was no way we could afford the house we had once lived in with our parents. I hurried over to the couch and reached behind my pillow. My long fingers fumbled around until they found the piece of paper they had been searching for. My suicide note. I had basically written that I am sorry. I wanted Greg to know it was my decision. My opening line was By the time you read this I will be dead.

With shaking hands, I gripped the paper and placed it on the table with the rest of my stuff. Greg wouldn't find the stuff until later the next morning, he was working.

I walked out into the chilly air. I was only wearing a t shirt and shorts and the wind was cutting through them easily. The river water would be cold. I knew it. I walked quickly to the bridge in the park. Not too many people were out at this time. It was getting late.

I walked through the park and to the bridge. I had picked this spot yesterday. It was up high enough, the water was deep enough, the rocks were sharp enough, and the current was strong enough that it should take my life away without causing me too much pain.

I climbed up onto the rail of the bridge. I glanced down before closing my eyes. On three I thought.

One.

Two.

Three.

I didn't jump. I gripped the railing. I needed to jump. I needed to die. I could hear loud laughing coming from a distance. I looked away from the dark water, which was beginning to look more and more inviting the longer I looked at it. I couldn't tell you why I hadn't jumped yet. I knew I couldn't do it with a group of girls right there. That's the last thing I wanted. Attention. I wasn’t about to end my life so people would talk about me. I was doing this entirely for myself. This was going to be my last act as a selfish bastard.

I could faintly recognize the girls, I probably would have recognized them better if I were focusing harder on them. But my unfocused gaze wandered back to the dark water moving beneath me. I wanted this to be over with. I wish I wasn't a coward. I wish I would just jump already. I couldn't with the girls only across the park, though. They needed to be gone for me to do this. Despite the fact I was procrastinating on jumping into the freezing water, I had no doubt I would end up motionless at the bottom of the river by the end of tonight.

I expected to be dead. That's what I had planned. My mind was going miles a minute and my body has practically gone into panic mode. I’m pretty frantic, and I have been all day. My friends didn't notice. Of course they didn't. They don't care enough about me to notice. No one will mourn for Niall Horan.

Especially not a group of random girls.

I kept counting to three. Last time.

One.

Two.

Three.

A hand then gripped my shirt.

Heavyn's P.O.V.

I giggled as one of my good friends, Rae, twirled around like a loon. Of my group, she was the most drunk. Which was acceptable, she was the birthday girl after all. I didn’t drink. I didn’t particularly want to. I had just lost my baby, maybe a month ago. It was still a fresh memory, and I guess I hasn’t truly accepted it. While pregnant with her I hadn’t drank a sip of alcohol. I still haven’t drank. Maybe if I keep acting like I’m pregnant, maybe she isn’t gone.