All of Me

All of Me ~ Luke Hemmings ~ One

"Michael, no. I just- I can't leave Delah." I tell him, taking out the clothes he was putting in my suitcase and back into my wardrobe.
"Delah will be fine with grandma and grandpa. You need to get out, see the world. This town isn't good for you, there are too many memories and you can't handle it." He explains, grabbing the top he had folded nicely out of my hands and back into the suitcase. Going to my closet and grabbing more tops and pants. I simply just look at him, I knew that he was right, but I couldn't bring myself to leave. I wasn't ready to take on the world. Especially not with my brother and his band as they toured around the world.
"You hardly eat, it took us this long just to get you to talk to us again, and even then, it's barely a sentence. Delilah, you need to leave. I know a tour isn't the best way to approach it, but I can't let my fans down and I don't want you going somewhere alone, as grandma and grandpa are getting too old to leave the country, especially with Delah. So it took me a whole lot to pull enough strings to get you to come. So please?" He begs, walking up and putting his hands on his shoulders, bending down so he could reach my eye level at 5.6". I look at him for a moment, his green eyes filling with hope as he peers at me. I turn my head away from him. Looking out the window and into the back yard where a layer of snow had sheeted the ground lightly.
"What's the worst that could happen? You come and have fun? Oh no." He jokes, turning my head to look at him. I smile at him, the corners of my mouth not reaching my eyes though. He sighs and lets his hands slide down my shoulders and back to his sides.
"Seriously Delilah, what's the worse that could happen?" He whispers now, his face contorting up and he was trying hard not to cry. I knew he hated seeing me like this, but I didn't care.
"I could get hurt." I whisper back, turning my head to the floor and began playing with my fingers. Michael grips my hands tightly and kisses my forehead before bringing me in for a brotherly hug.
"I would never ever let you get hurt. You're my sister and I love you too much to let you hurt more than you already are. Just please come." He pleads for the last time.
I sigh, and wrap my arms around his waist, burying my face into his shirt.
"Okay," I whisper, barely audible and muffled from the fabric of Michael's shirt. He wrapped his arms tighter around me and inhaled deeply.
"Thank you, so much." He says and let's me go. "Do you want me to help you finish packing or...?" I purse my lips before shaking my head and gesturing towards the door, telling him to leave. He smiles and hugs me tightly one last time before he clears out of my room, shutting the door.
I sigh, and began to pack clothes. I didn't want to go, not at all. I didn't want to leave my friends. Especially Sandy, she has been with me through everything. Coming over in the middle of the night when I just needed a friend, or spending the day with me in silence just because I didn't want to be alone. I almost felt like I was betraying her by leaving, but she told me that it would be good for me.
A full six months away from my family, -asides Michael, of course- and on the road with Five Seconds of Summer for their first tour. It wouldn't be bad to get to see some of the world, but I would miss my home.
It had been about a month and three weeks since the funeral, I haven't cried in front of anyone since. Actually, I hadn't intentionally cried in front of anybody at all. I hadn't known Luke would have walked in when I broke down, and if I had, I never would have gone up to those caskets and risk something like that. The fact that Luke had saw me cry, was also another reason I didn't want to go on tour. I knew that even though I had successfully avoided him at all costs since, I was most definitely going to face him during these six months. I was actually embarrassed, and did not want to confront him at all. I don't think he had told anybody about it though, which I was eternally grateful for, because I hadn't heard about it from anyone, and that was the last thing I needed to worry about.

*****
An hour or so later, I was finished packing my clothes and I was having trouble zipping up my suitcase so I tiptoed out of my room and across the hall to my three year old sister Delah's room. I peeked my head around the corner and watched as she silently played with her baby doll, one of the few things that survive the fire, even though it was burnt and ripped up in a few places, Delah couldn't seem to care less, and she pretended to rock the baby -a little to aggressively I might add- in her arms, nursing it like it would have been real.
"Hey Delah," I whisper, causing her head to snap up towards me. A big smile took place on her lips, her fat little cheeks bunching up and the corners of her eyes crinkling as she did so.
"Wanna help me with something?" I ask, keeping my voice low as I held a hand out to her. She giggled and ran up to me on short pudgy legs, wrapping her tiny hand around two of my fingers. We walked back to my room and I scooped her up with a smile on my face. Delah was the only one I actually talked too, only because she hardly said anything back and wouldn't tell anybody. I placed her on my suitcase and began to zip it up again.
"Michael's making me go on tour with him and his band." I tell her, yanking furiously on the zipper of my suitcase, it budged three inches.
"I actually don't want to go, but our idiot brother is making me. He thinks it will be good for me," another two inches. "I want to stay here with you, and grandma and grandpa. It's too much out there, I like it here with you. Safe, with the memory of mommy and daddy." Only one inch this time. Delah looks up at me and her eyes sparkle.
"Mommy?" She asks, her high pitched toddler voice squeaks out, I smile and nod, running a hand through her dangerously curly auburn hair.
"And daddy, they're here right now. We just can't see them. They're right here." I say, poking her chest right where her heart lay. She giggles loudly, and in a deeper manor, clapping her chubby little hands together. With another harsh tug, the suitcase zips up half way.
"A home," I say, grabbing her hand and placing it over my heart, I do the same with my hand, placing it directly over her heart. "is where your heart is. And your family, is who you keep in your home. And whoever lives in your home, stays there forever, even if you can't see them. I live in your heart, and you live in mine. Mommy and daddy live in our hearts, and they always will, they'll never ever leave us." I didn't realize my voice had been getting quieter until I breathed out the last words.
"Heart." Delah repeated, pressing her hand down harder on my chest. I smile and nod, feeling the wet line of a tear run down my cheek.
"No cry," she told me, using her other hand to touch my face. "Bobo?" She asks, wondering if I had been hurt and that was the solution to my tears. I just nod, not wanting to make it difficult for her. She frowns slightly and I grip both her hands in mine, squeezing slightly before returning them to her and yanked one final time on the zipper before it closed completely.
"Now, I have to go away with Michael in a couple of days," I tell her, picking her up and wrapping her tight in my arms. "we'll be gone for a long time. But you'll have grandma and grandpa, and you'll have so much fun time will go by so fast you won't even know we're gone. M'kay?" I pull my head back to look at her and, she has a pouty frown on her face.
"Don't go." She says, and whimpers slightly. It breaks my heart to leave her, but I knew Michael wouldn't be giving me a choice.
"I have to, but I'll come back okay? I promise. And when I do, I'll have a whole bunch of presents for you, and we'll talk through the computer everyday okay?" I promise her, she beams at the mention of presents and nods feverishly.
"Good," I hug her, "try not to grow up while I'm gone."