Mindless Self Indulgence (Fuck Off)

All Of This Dirt

"Jimmy wake up!" Steve yells at my face.

"What!" I jump up.

"We have to leave. Lyn-Z's waiting outside and you really don't want to see her pissed off."

I look out the window. The moon is up.

"Jimmy you're wilting," Kitty points at my hair as I step out of the building. She hands me a cup of coffee.

"Whatever," I'm so tired. I start chugging down the coffee

"Hurry up!" Lyn-Z shouts from halfway down the street, her bass at her side.

We all run over to her.

"How long do we have?" Steve asks.

"About fifteen minutes," Lyn-Z keeps walking.

"Noooooooo!" Steve starts yelling dramatically. He starts sprinting.

Kitty shoots me a weird look. I swallow the last bit of coffee before we all start running after him.

We get there in half the time it would've taken us walking. Already, the bar is filled with people pulsating to the beat of the music coming from the speakers.

I follow everyone else to the stage but everyone keeps pulling me into the crowd. I start paying attention to the people there and I realize that some of these girls aren't really girls.

I smash into somebody with weird robot-type eyes and then somebody with a gas mask.

Here, I am probably the 'normalest' person. Pink hair is like level one around here.

These people really know how to live!

"Earth to Jimmy!" Steve's voice replaces the music for a few seconds.

Oh, right.

I rush to the stage.

"Sorry," I tell Steve.

"I want you to watch this first band so you can see how they rock," Steve looks at me, "You have energy but you've probably never seen a concert."

"What! Yes I have!"

"Oh, yeah what was it? A bunch of people lip singing on stage doing exactly what they've been told to do?"

"No," I say doubtfully.

"This," Steve points at the stage, "this is real. If somebody fucks up their part, they fuck up. If somebody falls down, they fall. If somebody dies, then they die. This is real, this isn't like in the movies where you can redo every mistake."

"Wow," I take it all in because it's so deep, "people have died on stage?"

Steve rolls his eyes, "Yes. Somebody lit a firework and it went right to the stage."

"That's so cool."

"Welcome!" Jack comes up to the stage, "Today will be just like any other except we have a new band performing."

A few people in the room laugh.

"We'll have a vote at the end of the concert to see if we want them back," Jack yells. The crowd hollers in glee, "but right now it's time for APOCALYPSE-22!"

The whole crowd goes wild as the band takes the stage. A really tall man in a long black trench coat grabs the microphone.

He starts screaming.

And jumping.

And thrashing around.

Somewhere, somebody starts a mosh pit. The bass makes the floor tremble. I lie down on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Kitty asks.

"Feeling the bass," I tap the floor next to me, "Join me."

"Okay!" She lies down.

"See?"

She doesn't say anything but there's a huge grin on her face.

Before we know what's happening it's time for us to go up on stage.

I go up to introduce ourselves while everyone's getting ready.

"We are Mindless Self Indulgence!" I yell.

"Tell your band to hurry up!" someone shouts, "We wanna dance!"

"You have to wait!" I shout back, "I'm holding the mic, I get to make the decisions. So shut up and wait!"

Everyone else walks onto the stage.

"It's about time!" I tell them.

Lyn-Z shoots me a glare before starting to play.

"The bass, the rock, the mic, the treble," the crowd still isn't dancing, "I LIKE MY COFFEE BLACK JUST LIKE MY METAL!"

That's when we all start jumping around like maniacs. I turn around. Lyn-Z is spinning around so much I have to turn away because she's making me dizzy. That's when I catch sight of Steve lying contentedly on the ground playing his guitar.

And he's telling me how to rock?

I finish the song.

And the crowd...

They really liked us.