The Perks Of Being An Indian Bride

1: Enchanted

Hey guys! Apsaraaa here. I have edited this chapter quite heavily and made a lot of changes since I will be entering a competition!

And new readers, Welcome to TPOBAIB!

Chapter 1: Enchanted

Weddings.

What is it about this word that makes every average Indian go into a frenzy? I really don't know.

Well actually, that's a lie. I secretly am quiet obsessed with weddings. Even more so, as I am one among a very large family wherein someone or the other gets married on a yearly basis.

Growing up in a family of eleven, and born and brought up to an extremely traditional Kannadiga family in Bangalore, where adults constitute only 35% of the eleven, you can imagine how chaotic everyday might have been. Yes, what I mean to say is that apart from my mother, father and a grandmother (who might as well be one of the kids), the rest were my siblings and I.

By siblings, I mean EIGHT siblings.

By eight, I really mean eight.

When I said someone or the other gets married on a yearly basis, I really wasn't joking. Apart from the fact that I was one of eight, if you took a closer look at my extended family, I was one of thirty cousins!

Long story short, my great-great grandfather had promised his father that the Kashyap household will flourish (in every sense of the term). And flourish it did!

So to sum it all up, I was your normal twenty three year old, happy-go-lucky, 100% desi girl, Avni Kashyap.

So coming back to my point: WEDDINGS!

Today, my older sister Bhavna was getting married to her fiancé (who was her boyfriend of seven years) Adithya Krishna.

Bhavna and Adithya's love story was the stuff of fairy tales. Actually, it was quite cliche, to be honest. His family and my family were neighbours for the longest of times. Bhavu and Adi went to the same pre-school, then the same school, then the same college and the rest was history.

My mother and my grandmother, who we call Ajji, had a bet going on for quite some bounty. Ajji bet Ma that they would get together by college and she bet a pair of beautiful earrings for that. But Ma, who is sinfully old fashioned, bet that none of that "nonsense" would happen, and that Bhavna and Adithya would get arranged marriage-d like two good bangaaras. And for that, she bet Ajji a Mysore silk saree.

"Keep watching Asha, I may have to buy myself a beautiful necklace to match the saree you'll be buying me!" Ajji had boasted confidently.

"No Ma, I think I'll be the one buying that necklace to match the earrings you'll be buying me!" Ma had retorted.

Needless to say, Ajji won. And to top it off, Ajji (who was full of sass) wore the Mysore silk saree for the wedding today!

"Please tie the knot," The priest instructed in Kannada as he continued to chant the mantras.

As Adithya tied the sacred Mangalsutra around Bhavna's neck, the whole wedding hall erupted in cheer.

Shruthi (my oldest sister) and I held on to Bhavna in a death grip and slobbered her with kisses as everyone showered the newly-weds with flower petals and akki.

Adithya held Bhavna's face in his hands and kissed her forehead with so much love and appreciation that all of us were just grinning and staring shamelessly at them.

Once the excitement died down and the usual Homa began, I resorted to playing with my adorable nieces and nephews.

"Avni, come with me for a minute?" my brother Siddharth asked.

"What is it?" I asked.

He grabbed me by the hand and dragged me halfway across the wedding hall.

"Guys, I would like you all to meet somebody." Sid announced to a group of his (very hot) friends. "Avni, this is Jai, Akash and Vihaan, my friends from work."

"Hello," I mumbled awkwardly.

"And this is my sister Avni." Sid smiled.

"So Avni, what do you do?" Jai (I think) asked.

"Oh, she is very good at eating." Asshole Sid said which brought a few laughs.

GONE. My maana, maryade, all gone.

"He he, would you excuse me for a moment?" I asked awkwardly and scooted from the scene.

While I was busy swearing at my brother to myself, I bumped into Shruthi, who was trying to get her son Ishaan to eat, but in vain

"What's wrong with you?" She asked, scrutinizing me from top to bottom.

"Siddharth." I sighed.

"What did he do now?" She chuckled.

"Full shape out, Shru. In front of his friends, that too!" I groaned.

"Bidu. You two are known for that only. What else is new?"

*

Bhavna's and Adithya's reception was held that evening and was nothing less than a star studded event.

By star studded, I mean us of course.

Bhavna chose the traditional route by wearing a purple silk saree with a backless blouse.

Okay fine, semi traditional, then.

Adithya matched her by wearing an off white kurta and pyjama with a beautiful purple vest. They looked like a million bucks.

Dad had the brilliant idea of taking all of the family photos before the music began and all of us would sweat our body weights out, and I was given the task of assembling the family.

I made a strategy of cornering my younger siblings, who, with one stern stare, curbed and ran to the stage. Then, with great difficulty, I managed to drag everyone else.

We first took a few normal text book family pictures and then one by one, each of us began losing patience.

We resorted to making ridiculous faces and completely rattled the poor photographer.

After a total of 47 photos taken, we gave up. I was slowly massaging my aching cheeks and laughing at Amrita, who was trying to control Ishaan.

"Akka, you have to help me." She cried.

"What's wrong?" I laughed.

"Please book a room for me in NIMHANS, like 'rn'?" She sighed. Ishaan was zooming around her in circles with a toy plane and was evidently driving her crazy.

My younger brother, Amay (who was Amrita's partner in crime) sniggered and took pictures of the scene.

"Hey Amay, how about you go and continue taking pictures of Bhavna akka's hot friends like you were doing before?" She said trying to avoid getting poked by a plastic airplane. He shot her a look and sprinted away from us.

I laughed and grabbed Ishaan and hoisted him in the air, which sent him into a fit of giggles.

"I really don't know how you do it, Akka," She sighed loudly. Within a few seconds, more of my nephews swarmed around her and were giggling loudly. "YUCK, GET AWAY FROM ME!" She yelled dramatically and bolted from us.

Amrita was easily the funniest one among us. She had this witty sense of humour and needless to say, her quirks sent the rest of us into fits of uncontrollable laughter.

So, all in all, Bhavna and Adithya's wedding reception was easily the highlight of what was already shaping up to be one of the most memorable weekends of my life. The rest of the night was spent by me eating third helpings of all the delicious food, actively evading aunties who were secretly eyeing me as a potential bride candidate for their sons or nephews, dancing with all my friends and cousins to some heavy Kannada beats and really just celebrating my sister and her second- soulmate, her first obviously being me.