Clandestine | On Hold

Chapter 11

Hey, guys! So here's another update. But just a quick question before you head on to read the chapter... 

Can anyone suggest a ship name for Ryan and Iris? 

You can leave a comment or just PM me. Credits will be given to the person who suggests a creative name.

Dedicated to Rukky360 for making this amazing banner; I absolutely love it. Thank you so much for this and the other banners you sent me too! 

She's one of the great friends I made here on Wattpad and she is amazing! Make sure to check out her works, especially "Mated to The Vampire King" as I'm loving the new storyline.

Chapter 11

Ryan's POV

I am falling. 

That is the first thing I realise when I feel the gush of cool air around me as my consciousness slowly trickles its way back to me. The next thing I notice in my less oriented state is the glaring lack of any noise around me as if everything has been stilled into silence. A deafening one. 

My closed eyelids slowly flutter open, and my gaze land on.... nothing. Everywhere I look, it's pitch black. A black void of nothingness. Even my enhanced vision encounters only the thick blanket of darkness surrounding me.

After a few seconds of looking around, I realise that I'm still free falling, deeper and deeper into the pits of this dark... nowhere. A chill runs through me. I frantically flail my arms and legs out, trying to hold onto something, anything. But then I stop, as a realisation hits me.

There is something enthrallingly peaceful about this dark place; it has a certain calm that doesn't feel much foreign to me. Like I am familiar with this place somehow. But, how?

As I continue to fall, my mind wanders off to different things. I think about everything, my life, the problems in it, about the mission, about Iris.... Her amethyst eyes shining brightly, her brown hair that keeps falling over her eyes, her ever radiant smile...

Why am I thinking about her?

My thoughts are abruptly interrupted, as a blinding white light falls over my eyes. I quickly shield them with my hands. For a second, I think it is the light at the end of the tunnel. Literally. But that would mean.... Wait, am I in heaven? No, that couldn't be. I would go to hell when I die- Wait, I'm dead? What? How? Why? Am I even making sense?

I slowly uncover my eyes. It takes a while for them to adjust to the lighting. But when they do, the questions from earlier come back to my mind in full force. 

I turn my head from left to right and look around. For miles and miles, everywhere I look it is stark white, with not a single thing in sight. And I've stopped falling. 

Am I really in heaven? Just for assurance, I look down below my feet and heave a sigh of relief. I'm not standing on any white puffy clouds. Well, I'm not standing on anything for that matter of fact. I'm just... floating. And I'm not sure if I should be happy about that or not. 

For a while, I simply stare at the wide expanse of white space around me. When I feel annoyance creep inside me, I lift my hands and rub my eyes in exhaustion. When I look back ahead of me, I suck in a sharp breath. Something is taking shape in front of me. I continue to stare at it, as the outlines of some figures and objects slowly get filled with colours. The colours are fade at the beginning, but slowly get brighter and brighter. I squint my eyes and try to figure out what it is. But when the image in front of me gets clear, my heart feels heavier. 

Looking at the two people in front of me, I extend my hands and try to reach out to them, to embrace them and never let go of them. A whimper escapes me when I realise I can't. Something wet trickles down my face, but I don't bother wiping it off. I'm too busy staring at her. 

Her long, shiny dark brown hair tumbling down her back in waves; Her soft and kind blue-grey eyes looking down at a younger version of me with love and affection, caressing his head on her lap with such gentleness and care one could forget all the problems in the world. Tears continue to run down my cheeks, but I couldn't care less. 

"Momma, sing to me a song, please?" My younger self asks her in an innocent voice and watches as she smiles down at him with love. And then, he watches as she opens her mouth and sings to him the only song he loves in her beautiful and euphonious voice, a voice that could put the entire world to peace. She continues to sing and caress his head, as his eyes slowly flutter close. Soon he's asleep with a calm smile on his face. She smiles down at him and leans down to place a tender kiss on his forehead. 

"I love you, Ryan. Always be my strong and loving boy..." She whispers in her soft and caressing voice. Then she looks up, and her eyes connect with mine.

"Mother," I whimper in pain, trying to reach out to my mother again and failing miserably. She gives me that lovely smile of hers and then starts to fade away.

"NO!" I yell. No, I can't lose her, not again... 

"Please don't leave me again, please..." I trail off, as the picture in front of me completely fades and disappears. Tears trail down my face as the dam inside me breaks. A sob tears from my throat, followed by many others. The pain of losing her comes back full force and I clutch my chest over my heart. My legs give way under me, as I collapse and cry, something I haven't done in years.

I cry like there's no end, till I run out of tears. After a while, I start to calm down. Be strong, her words echo in mind and I stop crying. It's of no use anyway.

When I look back up, I see something else taking shape in the white space before me. I squint my eyes and patiently wait and stand up, mentally preparing for what comes up next. But when it does, I lose it. I huff out air from my nostrils in anger, feeling like a vein might burst inside my head at any time. Because the picture in front of me is from that day, that uneventful day in my life that ruined my life forever. The day when my life full of sunshine and rainbows got covered with dark and stormy clouds. The day that changed my perspective, even Bennett's, on life forever; the day that awful truth came out. The truth about the curse. 

Everything from that day gets played in front of me, leaving me angrier with each passing moment. By the time the entire scene comes to an end, I have balled my fists beside me and am shaking from anger. 

As everything starts to fade like earlier, one question pops in my head.

What is this place?

I feel the air get knocked out of me as some invisible force hits me hard. 

And then I'm falling, again. 

Everything around me that was white a moment ago turns pitch black in a split second. And as I fall, I feel the presence of some kind of outer force trying to pull me in. And I don't fight it. It's like the exhaustion of the entire day is finally catching up on me So I welcome it, whatever it is, with open arms and, slip into the dark world of obliviousness once again.

• ☆ • ☆ •

Hey guys! Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this update because I was having second thoughts while writing this chapter (I still do). Let me know what you think of this update. (Good? Bad? Something else?)

And do vote and comment if you like this story! I love reading them! :)