The last time I saw you, I tried to tell you how I felt.
But I get so damn tongue-tied whenever I see you.
Every single thing I plan to say is washed away by your icy blue eyes.
I keep myself awake at night planning the conversation I want to have. But it never works. Because by the time you want to talk, I've already forgotten.
The last time I saw you, you left me with 17 cigarettes. I thought I could make them last until I saw you again, but a week went by with no word.
Just 'unread' text messages.
And I sat there counting the individual threads in my jeans that no longer fit
Smoking the last cigarette instead of eating dinner
And I heard your voice whispering, saying my name.
Every morning I look at myself in the mirror and I don't recognize the person I see.
I have to repeat the same introduction every time
'Hello, my name is Willow Sky and I am losing my mind'
And as your voice plays in my head, I find myself placing your last cigarette to my lips as if I'm kissing you goodbye.
The mantra envelopes me...
'It's pointless, it's pointless'
I watched as the ashes fell away in the wind
and with each gust, the tip of the cigarette glistened brighter
Against my arm
And I felt the heat radiate
Against my heart
As if flutters
I want to burn you out of my body
I want it to scab over just so I can pick it off and bleed you out
I want to feel alive again
But I hear the voices in the background
The real voices that belong to real bodies
And the trance is gone.
There is no burn on my arm
No proof of what actually happened
But being angry is better than being numb.
Feeling human doesn't make me insane.
It's a new sensation and someday
I can cope without you.
YOU ARE READING
Repressed Memories
RandomSometimes the only way to cope is to get it all out. For me that is writing. A brief yet sometimes in-depth display of childhood memories. These are true events in my life. *I will warn readers before hand with this disclaimer: If you are triggered...
