leATHERMØUTH -frerard-

Interlude 8

Black hair. I wasn't expecting it. In fact, I didn't know where I was. I knew who I was with because his aura was imprinted in my brain. But this wasn't my house. This wasn't the school. This wasn't Ryan's basement or his bedroom. There was one place I could think of, and that was his house. I was in his bed. Under his covers. Holding him. He moved, stretching out his limbs, his hand almost colliding with my face. He rolled over with a tired look in his eyes and curled up to me, placing his forehead on my chest.

We weren't wearing clothes.

"Gerard," I whispered, running a hand through his hair.

He made a happy sound, "Hmm?"

I held him closer to my chest and took a deep breath. My eyes were pinned open by an unknowing force. I swallowed down a lump, "What happened?"

He made a noise that either sounded confused or saddened. He pulled away a bit to look at me, resting his head on the same pillow as me. His hands were placed on my waist, rubbing circles lightly with his fingers. His hair was messy and shaped his worried face perfectly. Something burned in my chest. He didn't meet my eyes, his bottom lips pouted.

"You don't remember?" He whispered faintly.

I sighed, "I can guess what happened."

"You're guess is probably correct." He nodded slightly.

I paused, "Intercourse?"

"Yeah." He blushed.

My eyebrows furrowed. This didn't make sense. How could I not have remembered such a significant event? It was something I had wanted to do for so long and I finally did it. It must be God's joke, not being able to remember it. I searched my brain, probably straining something in the process. But the only thing I could remember was a hazy glimpse of Gerard's face, contorted in a way I had never seen it before. In pleasure, I assumed. The perspective told me that he was beneath me. Suddenly I felt remorse. Had I hurt him? Gerard moved one of his hands from my waist to my chin. He smiled at me and I couldn't help but grin back.

"I love you so much." He sighed happily, placing a small, warm kiss to the corner of my mouth.

I leaned in and put my forehead to his. He hummed happily as I whispered back, "I love you, too."

He giggled and nuzzled closer to me, wrapping one of his legs around mine, tangling our bodies together even more than they already were. I felt true happiness. I know this because never in my life have I felt this content, joyful, grateful. Nothing else mattered. No hate was in my heart. Just a beautiful black-haired boy was. He had a special place there, as cliché as it sounds. I opened my eyes when his grip on me tightened. He made a small noise and met my eyes. His eyes were big and innocent, but what he was doing wasn't matching his eyes.

"I'm sorry." He squeaked, "It just happens..." I slid a hand down, pressing him harder against my thigh. He hummed in delight, "Oh..."

I simply smiled, "Don't apologize."

A ghost of a smile was on his face as he rolled his hips. I closed my eyes and inhaled sharply. I was never going to get used to this, "So this is okay? Should- should I stop?"

"No." I said quickly, "Don't stop. Not now."

I felt white hot heat. Images flashed in my eyes from the night before as we touched each other. I was glad I forgot what last night felt like. Experiencing it like this was amazing. It was dirty. It was loud. It was messy. But it was worth it. I loved kissing him while we moved hurriedly, trying to feel that climax as soon as possible. The door was locked, but he still acted hastily as if someone could burst in. Or maybe he was that desperate for me. I knew I was desperate for him. Desperation. That was what I felt. Desperation and lust. But it all ended so fast. Too fast. Gerard clutched onto my back, eyes rolling back before he shut them tightly. He cursed and screamed my name, his fingernails digging into my skin. My burst quickly followed his.

"Frank," He scrambled around, trying to touch my face. He kissed me with desperation. I kissed him back, "Frank. Frank... oh god, Frank. I love you. I love you so so so so much, oh fuck."

I chuckled, breaking the kiss, "You're so silly. So beautiful. I love you, too."

"Hnnn." He mumbled, grabbing my face and staring at me, "My family is going to kill me."

I kissed his nose, "Don't be so loud."

"I can't not, Frankie." He sighed, "Should we get up?"

I shook my head and got off of him, pulling him into my arms, "No. Not yet."

He sighed, relieved, "Good. I'm tired."

"I am, too." I paused, "Did you have any dreams?"

"Yes. Did you?"

I nodded, "I did. What was yours about?"

He didn't answer immediately. He just sighed and waited, collecting his thoughts. I collected mine, too, preparing in case he asked me the same question, "I hurt you. And Mikey. I was really, really mad. I think you left me? For Ryan? And I was really sad at first, but then I grabbed a gun and- and- I hurt you. Mikey tried to stop me but I hurt him, too. I cried over both of you and Ryan found me covered in blood. I was scared."

He was shaking so much. I held onto him and shushed him, "It's okay, really. It's okay. It's not real. I would never leave you. Ryan is a friend. You- you're more than a friend."

"I better be," He giggled, "We just, um- twice."

"Twice." I agreed.

"What about you? What was your dream?" He asked, brushing hair from his face.

"I was going to hurt you with my knife but I was sort of stalking you, having this mental battle. I threw my knife away and you found me. You asked me something, I think. And we kissed." I shrugged.

"Your dreams are getting better?" He asked hopefully.

"Yeah." I muttered, "Are yours?"

"It doesn't sound like they are, but that's the least violent one I've had in years. Slowly, they are." He smiled sadly. He was tormented and I felt so sad. I kissed him sweetly, hoping he understood what it meant. From the way he kissed back, I'm sure he did. He pulled away, out of breath and went out like a light.

One of these days, we'd both be normal.

I hope.