leATHERMØUTH -frerard-

Interlude 10

"Frank," my mother began as I sat down to eat my breakfast, "Mrs. Ross called and said the funerals will be held next week. Ryan will, um, be separate from the Uries but by Ryan's diary, the boys would like to be buried next to each other. So they might be closer together." She ran a hand through her hair and sat down across from me, worried. This is the most conversation we've had in years. Sad it had to be this way, "Are... are you alright?"

I sighed and met her eyes, "The truth? Not really. My friends are dead and my boyfriend is going to a mental hospital. Life couldn't be more shitty."

She nodded in agreement but then snapped her head towards me, "Wait, Gerard was your boyfriend?"

"Yes." I responded, raising my fork to my mouth. Today I had decided on frozen waffles. I felt like I at least deserved that.

She put her face in her hands and shook her head, "I'm such a bad mother. I know nothing about you. We're practically enemies! And I didn't even ask if you had feelings or thoughts or a sexuality... Frank, honey, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'll try to be a better mom. We can move into a new town and I'll send you to whatever school you want..."

"Mom," I laughed just a bit, making her crack a smile, "I forgive you. There are many things you don't know about me and most of them should stay that way. I... I was a bad son. For so long I had dreams of killing people with families and friends and relationships... I even had ones about you. Killing you. And the worst part was that I didn't feel guilty. It felt good in my dreams. But then I started dreaming of hurting Gerard and suddenly these feelings came in that I didn't understand. Then when this recent stuff happened... I had this dream where I freed my feelings and thoughts and became, well, pretty much became human again. It's confusing and a little overwhelming, but now, you're all I've got. We both can make changes. Start over new?"

Her mouth hung open on a large O. I hid a smile behind my  hand while she snapped out of it and blinked, "That... that was a lot at once, Frankie. And very adult. But, yes, yeah. I'd- I'd love to start new with you. Are those dreams gone?"

I nodded, sure, "Oh yeah. They're gone alright. I made sure of that last night."

We both jumped out of our skin when there was a knock at the door. My mother excused herself and went to answer the door, returning seconds later behind Mikey Way looking confused as all hell. I simply smiled up at Mikey and he sat across from me, glancing for my mother to join us. She sat to my left.

"Hello," I offered and he waved it away.

"Save the hellos for later. I have a few things to discuss. First things first, the cops are questioning everyone close to Gerard. They're coming to your apartment sometime after noon. They're at my grandparents right now. And secondly, Gerard wants you to see him one last time before he's put into the institution. Wants to say goodbye. He's in custody already but I know people. But its all up to you to see him." Mikey paused, "Frankly, I'm terrified. He's my brother. When I found out what happened... I was scared. I knew Ryan and Brendon. And I came here to say I'm sorry. I know we haven't talked much but if you ever need anything and I mean anything," he took out a piece of paper and slid it to me. On it was his number, "call me."

He started to walk away but I followed him outside, continuing conversation after my front door was closed, "Mikey. Are you okay? Like, um, is there anything I can do for you?"

He looked taken aback, blinking before catching on, "I'm fine. A little shaken up because of what's happening, but otherwise- I'm fine. They, um, are taking Gerard to the institute later this evening, so if you wanna stop by... I can take you to where they're holding him. Say goodbye?"

I smiled and touched his arm, "I'd loved to. You'll be there, right?"

He looked at my hand and it was then I realized that might've been the only contact we've had. He nodded, "I will be but if you want time alone, I can leave."

I shook my head, "I think its best to stick with each other after all of this."

"Agreed."

...

Mikey and I were escorted to a small room with one way glass. We stood there for a moment, just staring at him. He looked like he hadn't slept in years, hair in all directions and the bags under his eyes a dark, bruising purple. His expression was a sad stare, his eyes cast down at his hands, which were handcuffed and folded on the table. Mikey exchanged a look with me and I nodded. The woman unlocked the door and let us in.

"You have visitors, Mr. Way." She said very mechanically, giving Mikey a nod before closing the door and standing to watch us from the window. I couldn't see her, but I could feel her eyes on us.

"Frank? Mikey?" He asked, trying to stand up before he was yanked back down to the seat, yanking pointedly on his handcuffs. He huffed, "Why are you here?"

"I came to say goodbye." I replied, kneeling by him. He gave me a strange look.

"Why? I tried to kill you!" He exclaimed waving his cuffed hands frantically, "Why would you want anything to do with me?!"

"You didn't kill me, though. I... I came to say I have no bad feelings about you. And I forgive you for what you did. The boys were my friends and forgiving you doesn't mean I'm not grieving or so frustratedly furious about the circumstances. But," I sighed, "forgiving you not only lifts a burden from you but a burden from me. Gives me some peace."

Mikey stood stunned behind me. Gerard's mouth was agape, tears forming in his eyes, "Frankie..." He sniffed and collected himself, asking a rather off topic question, "Does this mean we have no future?"

I swallowed and took in a breath, silently wishing Bert was here to give me advice. I swear I heard him say to reply from my heart. And I did as told, "I'm afraid so. I still love you. A part of me always will but I think its best for both you and me. We can write to each other and I'll visit with Mikey on holidays..."

His face fell but he nodded in agreement, "We were never made to last."

I stayed silent, not really knowing how to respond.

Mikey put a hand on my shoulder and I turned to see the woman who led us in here, two official looking escorts behind her. It was time for him to leave. I looked at Mikey and he just stared back at me. I shot a glance at Gerard and stood up, bending down to kiss his head, lips lingering longer than intended. I stood back so the men could remove him from the table before cuffing him again. Mikey and I followed the escorts outside where a black car with tinted windows sat, a white logo of the institute on the door.

Mikey hugged his brother goodbye, both exchanging 'I love you's. They opened the car door and Gerard ducked in, our eyes meeting one last time before the door closed behind him. Mikey leaned against me as the car drove away.

He spoke in hushed tones, "I don't understand how he could've done all of this. He was so quiet and wise and collected... He was too innocent."

We made eye contact and held it longer than necessary. He smiled halfheartedly after a bit and I returned his with a sad one. We both sighed in unison as we watched the car disappear around the bend.

"The most innocent are often the most deranged."

THE END