leATHERMØUTH -frerard-

This Song Is About Being Attacked By Monsters

Screaming. So much goddamn screaming. It was shrill and high pitched. Things coming from walls, floorboards, etc. It was hell.

I never believed in the supernatural until they started to claw at me in the dark.

That's when I called for war.

But I can't find monsters in my own head...

I could see them. They were always there. Always screaming and yelling and cursing at me. Telling me that all I've ever done is wrong. Telling me that... that I'm nothing.

That's all I've ever been.

Nothing.

No one ever looked at me or smiled at me or even glanced at me when I bled onto the school floors. I was just a shadow. I could do anything I wanted and no one would notice.

You're a burden. A liar. A curse. You'll amount to nothing. Stop trying. Give up. Give up. Give up.

GIVE UP!

Aww, you're crying.

"So what?"

So weak. Pathetic. Pitiful. Isn't that what you want? Pity? Is that why you've dreamt killing so many people? You just want to be pitied and for people to notice you and pity you.

"No. I don't want pity."

I almost forgot. He pities you.

"Don't bring him into this!!!"

He doesn't like you.

"Liar."

He just pities you. That's why he sticks around. He can't live with someone killing themselves at school so that's why he's there. He just doesn't want to be sad.

"Y-you're lying!"

He's using you.

"No he's not! He's my friend! He said so himself! He told me that I was a good friend! He said I was smart and brave!" I screamed, standing, pulling at my hair.

So sure about that?

"Yes."

You aren't smart. You're dumb. A fool. You think he likes you? Ha. He's scared of you. He's afraid you'll hurt him. You aren't a good friend.

"If he said it, I believe it."

You put so much faith in such a stupid boy. He's pathetic. A fag.

"Shut up!"

He is! His voice is annoying. Too soft. His hair is disgusting. He looks dumb. The way he looks at you is dumb. It's like he's in love with you or something. It's disgusting. Foul. Revolting.

"Love?"

No, don't tell me! You like him!? Like a fag?! Ha! What fun! Pathetic. You might as well kill yourself. He'll never like you back. He's too scared to get close. It'd be like dating a serial killer, and to an extent, that's exactly what he'd be doing.

"I'm not a killer. And I don't love him."

Look. You keep lying to yourself and others without even talking. Admit it to yourself! You're a fag. And a killer. Those dreams you keep having? They'll never go away.

"They have been. Slowly. Cause of him."

When the dreams disappear, Frank. So does he. You'll end up killing him. Trust me. Stay away from him. He's bad news. He'll ruin you. He's trying to change you. He's gonna cut open your brain and try to change you! Stay away from him!

"Trying to change me?"

You're catching on! Yes! Haven't you noticed? You wear your uniform like he does. All weird and messy. You grew out your hair. You even talk different.

"By talking different, you mean with feeling? I'm not stoic. I can feel things I haven't before."

You're becoming human. It's mortifying. Stay away, Frank. Remember? He doesn't like you because you're a failure, nothing but a failure of a person. You're a piece of garbage. You used to be okay. Now he's got you hooked around his fingers.

"He's only caring for me. It's a dog-eat-dog world and we've made an alliance. You should know. We used to be allies. You ruined my life. It's only when I'm finally starting to piece things back together, you try to get me to come back and listen to you. Fuck off."

I walked away.

But wait! You haven't heard the truth!

I stopped.

He is scared. He's worried. He doesn't want to tell you what he thinks when you ask because he's afraid of what you'll do or say. Eat that, you shit.

And they vanished.

He was scared? Of... of me?