Mates (ON HOLD)

43. a pause, a moment

A/N: 50k, guys. 50k.

Instead of going on an emotional, tear-filled, cringey rave about how much I love you and I love my babies here, I'll just say, while holding it all in; thank you. So much.

Back to the babes. It's a good one, guys.

Enjoy ;)

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C H A P T E R
F O R T Y-T H R E E:
a pause, a moment

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L I V A T O R

Across my room, in my bed, lied my mate.

Now, I knew better than to think my wolf was right when he was thrashing in me, ready to attack and reject the sleeping, practically lifeless body lying in my sheets. Now, I knew it was the work of my father, that there was a spell that pushed my wolf further from his.

All my confusion felt so placated now. Because now, all that human emotion that stayed when my wolf rejected the idea of mates felt real and explained. I wasn't crazy, and my wolf wasn't the one to blame. It was my father and probably Gainer.

I slid around my bed frame, going to the other side of my bed. The music of the party still pulsed in the walls and I felt the alcohol I thought would help swim in my system as I laid back beside him. On my side, from this position, I'd decided that I wanted to forever be here, pushing away my screaming wolf and just staring at him, watching him shift in his sleep.

There was something so beautiful about him. I don't think his dipped nose, brown eyes, and plump lips had anything to do with it, although they were gorgeous. Staring at Matches, letting my eyes dance along his skin, over his face and his sweaty head, to his t-shirt he'd decided to take off as he groggily and unknowingly came here with me. To his chest and those veins crawling from my mark and dyeing all the way to his naval and forearms. I was scared that once they got past his heart, he'd be pumping that stuff through him, no exceptions. Not being able to be stopped.

If it had anything to do with him being an Alpha, I was prepared to do anything to help. Sure, it was my family, a family of liars and cheats, of people who didn't dare talk to me about anything. Of people I loved dearly and wanted to survive, despite their betrayal. People I had loved for too long to believe I could've been so...fooled.

And if I didn't know so little, I'd would've already been at my desk, reading until sunrise and through that day and to dawn. I wouldn't have moved if I didn't suspect that Matches already had everything inside his too-tired brain.

So I laid next to him, hand an inch from his limp shoulder, itching to move closer. I just wanted to move closer.

Suddenly, Matches decided in his haze that he'd wanted that, too, turning into his side, his arm falling over me. I froze under his touch, his arm slipping so that his hand laid over mine.

Breathing choppy, I couldn't help feeling the heaviness in my throat, my hand twitching beneath his. God, did I want to touch him. I wanted to feel every inch of him and if I had the chance, do the thing we'd somehow held off.

But there was my wolf, a spell holding him tightly as he growled and thrashed and ripped at my insides. But it didn't hurt as much as seeing the sleeping looks that came across Matches' face, like he knew exactly what it felt like. For a long second of pain and letting that pain rip me to bits, I wondered if my human form could have the will to over come this spell. But I soon learned that my wolf was only half the equation, and my human form and mind was too dedicated, too stubborn to do anything but lock its fingers around his fingers and scoot closer, closing its eyes and burying my wolf's voice so deep for a moment of silence.