Just my stupid, lousy, rotten, luck.

Noah's point Of View

I woke up feeling better than I have in a long time, for once in 2 years I woke up with a warm body beside me, a beautiful mess of red hair laying in every direction from sleep and sex, animalistic ears twitching lightly as they picked up unheard sounds from the house, his chest rose and fell with every even breath he took.

For the most part, Sasha slept soundly for the rest of the night, only changing positions a handful of times and always ended up facing me, I was more than happy to hold him tight to me, he truly was gorgeous, in my eyes he didn't have a flaw, though if last night was any indication Sasha himself has a very low opinion of himself.

It's all because of those scars, those horrible marks on his skin that reminds him of everything he hates about himself, that reminds him of the people he loved who left him to die, they hurt him in more ways than one, thinking about it made my blood boil, the people who did this, they were his family, the people one should be able to depend on the most did this to him, it's unforgivable, though I suppose I'm no different.

Sasha shifted slightly in his sleep, I had somehow managed to sit upright without waking him up, he had one arm crossed over my torso and his head rested on my stomach, in this position I could see the scar I gave him and an overwhelming feeling of guilt shot right through me, I was stupid for trying to ignore this feeling, I tried so hard to convince myself it was nothing, he's just another target, but he's not, he is the love of my life and the fact that I caused him this much pain was killing me.

I tried to convince myself that if I fell in love again it would be betraying her memory, my laura, but I'm sure she would love him as well, if only she was still here, but then I could never have met Sasha, being with him is so much more, the mating bond I suppose, she is gone and its long time I moved on, and with Sasha by my side I feel I can finally do that. 

Watching his sleeping form I couldn't help but feel guilty for last night, he consented to all of it but the truth is he was nowhere near ready for what happened, I took advantage of his vulnerable state, he was stress and uncomfortable, I pushed him into showing me his scars and hybrid form and the only reason he did comply to my pestering was out of frustration on someone pushing him into talking about himself,  the part he hates the most at that, it's obvious he is still afraid of me and unsure of my motives when it involves him, and I'm not sure how to fix that.

His ears twitched slightly and I could see movement under the sheets where his tail is and I couldn't help but smile, last night upon my exploration I found out something interesting about Sasha, he absolutely hates his ears in any form (I assume) being touched, however, the area between his ears, he absolutely loves, it's his external G-spot if you will, a handy little tidbit of information for next time.

His ears begin to twitch faster and more often and his breath became deeper, he was beginning to wake up, his eyes began to flutter and I could see the fog induced by sleep beginning to lift, I smiled down at him and he seemed to notice me for the first time, he sat up quickly and looked around panicking, clearly not remembering where he was or why he's here, but then a look of pain flashed across his face.

He groaned falling back down face first onto the pillow "Sasha! Are you all right?" he said nothing but grown face still buried in the pillow, I put my hand on his head and gently rub to the space between his ears, as expected he melted into it " what's wrong ? are you hurt ?" he didn't say anything but he picked his head up to look at me leaning on his elbow, with his free hand he began to rub his lower back.

I raised an eyebrow and smiled "was it rougher than the first time?" I asked jokingly but to my surprise his face turned beet red and he fell  back down on the pillow, he mumbled into it and I barely understood, but the meaning of his words hit me like a ton of bricks "this was the first time" it was my turn to turn red "you mean this was your" I was cut off by him nodding his head "like ever ? ".