➳My Light in the Darkness ➳Lams Soulmate AU➳

12 ➳ Butterflies

Awawaagagagwhgwaawwhaha

||John Laurens||

:September 11th 2016:

Okay.

What the hell is happening.

And how the hell did it happen.

From the time in which I met Alexander, to now, I have discovered color, found out about my mother dying, had to turn in at least fifty essays in a week, and became in love with someone.

And it was a mess.

I have no idea what to call my current emotion. Cautious? Confused? Helpless? Overwhelmed? Probably overwhelmed. No, most definitely overwhelmed. So much shit is happening at once. And I have no idea how to handle it all.

There is too much to think about.

-My Mom
-School
-My ability to have color
-Alexander

Furthermore, one of those conflicts is completely dominating all the others.

Alexander.

I've known him for about a month now and I never knew from the moment I met him how important he would be to me. He has taken over my entire life and I don't know if it's good or bad.

Over the past week, I've realized how in love with him I was. Let me rephrase that, over the past week, I've noticed how entirely gay I was for him.

Haha, but seriously.

I have never felt this way before.

Whenever I talk to him, I feel butterflies in my stomach.

Whenever he smiles, my insides explode.

Whenever we're close, I heat up to the point where I almost faint.

And just to think...that this man is destined to be with me is insane.

Why? Why ME of all people? Why am I the one for him? What's so special about me?

I don't deserve him.

I don't know the facts, but I am entirely grateful.

I love him so much.

I feel like Cinderella singing 'So this is Love'.

I'm just so...so...

Helpless.

But now I have to think about...

When exactly are we going to get together? Because I'm becoming impatient.

I just want to live the day where we're holding hands, kissing,...making love??

...

Okay, minus that last part.