38 - Why Do I Feel This Way?

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||Thomas Jefferson||

:December 13th, 2017:

Word got around that Alexander Hamilton had been in the hospital under critical condition due to getting ran over by a car. Normally I joked about this sort of thing...but...

It didn't feel right. With Alex being gone, some part of me felt...missing. I didn't know why. But I somehow felt sympathy for him and his friends. No way anyone saw this coming.

I know, I have always been an unforgiving-know-it-all-asshole to Alexander but I felt...sad. I didn't want him to die. No one deserves a fate like that.

I also feel really bad for John Laurens, his boyfriend. He hasn't come to school since the wreck and I heard that he was not taking the news lightly. I could only imagine what he was going through. I see how close they are when they're together.

It gave me shivers. I don't know how I'd react to loosing Jemmy. He's my everything and just the thought of loosing him makes me feel so...sad.

There's that word again. Sad. I didn't feel this emotion often. I normally felt anger and joy— joy from being an asshole by the way. I don't get happy like the way kids do when eating candy or some shit. Well, that's a lie. I sometimes get soft and happy when I'm with Jemmy. He just brings that side out of me.

But that side has been put away for now. I suddenly feel broken with Alexander in the hospital and Jemmy is starting to worry.

"Hey, Tommy, you okay?" He asked hesitantly as he lied beside me on the bed. I sighed and faced him.

"I don't know. I just feel like shit. That's all."

"Is this about Hamilton?" He asked.

I shamefully nodded.

"Normally I hate his guts but I feel sympathy for him and his friends. I can't imagine what they're going through or what may happen to him. I don't think he's going to be fine any time soon. It just makes me...sad. And I don't know why." I explained to him.

He compassionately hugged me softly, his face in my chest. I hugged back with a sigh.

"He'll be fine, Thomas, I know it. Everyone knows it. Just hang in there."

Gosh, he makes me feel so much better in situations like this. How does he do it?

I kissed the top of his head, "Thanks for always comforting me, Jemmy. You make me feel so much better. I love you."

He kissed me, "I love you too."

➳My Light in the Darkness ➳Lams Soulmate AU➳Where stories live. Discover now