Why We're Here

JayBird

I threw my head back, gazing at Barbara. She looked to be hanging off the cieling, as I was upside down on the couch behind her. I could see what she was doing on her computers, but it was like reading a different language, one that I didn't know.
"I'm bored," I huffed, "Let's do something fun."
Barbara didn't look away, "I'm working."
"You're always working."
Barbara groaned. Part of me wondered if she still liked me. She didn't hang out with me anymore, she was always behind her computer doing her Oracle things. I've caught her talking on the phone several times, hanging up as soon as she noticed me.
"Look, I can't hang out with you right now," Barbara tapped her keys, "Why don't you go find Clara."
"She's working too."
Everybody seemed to be working all the time. Even Dick was working, on assignment in Bludhaven. Nobody ever had time to hang out with me. They all had lives, most of them were either fighting crime or sleeping. Meanwhile, all I had was work and school, both of which had become tedious.
"What about Oliver?" Barbara asked.
I flung my head up, "All of my friends, including you, are doing superhero things. He's doing Green Arrow things."
"You need more friends."
"Tried that, they turned out to be superheroes."
Barbara rubbed her temples. I could tell she was getting annoyed, which made my heart fall. That's all I seemed to do lately, annoy her.
"I'll go for a walk," I mumbled, "At least then I'll be out of your hair."
Barbara hesitated, glancing up at me, "Lucy, I didn't mean-"
"It's fine, I know, I'm annoying. It's in my nature."
I didn't give Barbara time to reply. Instead, I left the study and headed towards the front door. Before I left, I slipped on my boots and my coat. It was nearing Christmas, and Gotham was covered in a fine layer of snow. For once, this wasn't the work of Mister Freeze. This time, it was mother nature doing her job.
I trudged out into the snow, the cold reflecting my current mood. Barbara was always too busy to hang out with me, I'm not even sure if she wants to anymore. Dick and Bruce always had their nightly crusade, often followed by sleeping or normal work. Oliver and Dinah were the same, even Clara put work first, though she was training to be a NASA Engineer, she kind of has to complete her internship.
That left Alfred. He was only busy when Bruce was home, and, even then, he was never too busy for a cup of tea. Surely he would be willing to keep me company.
That was my plan. I pushed through the snow, and the loads of people Christmas shopping, towards Wayne Manor. The route was memorized, almost as if someone had burned it into the side of my brain.
When I arrived, I pushed past the gate. The security systems knew me, and didn't attack. I made it up to the door without a scratch.
"Miss Lucille," Alfred said when he opened the door, after my knocks, "I must say, I did not expect to see you."
He stepped aside to let me in. When he tried to take my coat, I refused, wanting to do it myself. While Alfred might be Bruce's butler, he wasn't mine, he was my friend. Hell, he was practically my second father figure.
"Thought I'd just pop by for a visit," I smiled.
Alfred raised his eyebrows, "Does this happen to do with loneliness, Miss Lucille?"
"Perhaps."
"We all know, you do not do well with loneliness," Alfred had a bit of a twinkle in his eye, "It's always a pleasure to have your company."
I smiled brightly. Alfred led me into the kitchen where he began to brew a pot of tea. I sat on the island and asked, "How's everything going here?"
"Nobody has died, I suppose that's as well as it can go," Alfred replied, making me laugh.
"How about Jason?" I asked, "How's he settling in here?"
Alfred glanced up at me, "You aren't the only lonely soul here, Miss."
That sent a pang in my heart. I remember my childhood here, I don't know what I would have done without Dick. I can only imagine how Jason must feel, being the only kid here.
"Perhaps he needs a friend," Alfred stared at me pointedly.
I lifted an eyebrow, "Are you trying to tell me something?"
"Do you think I am?"
I stared at him for a moment longer. Of course, I knew what he was trying to tell me. Jason was lonely, I was lonely, we should be the perfect match. Besides that, I know what it's like to be a kid that lost everything, shoved into a new surrounding. He and I are a lot alike.
"Alright, I get it," I stood, "Go befriend the kid, gotcha."
Alfred smiled, "Good luck, Miss Lucille."
"Honestly, Alfred, how many times do I have to say just call me Lucille?"
Alfred only chuckled. I left the kitchen, going through the house I knew all to well. These walls were what raised me, even more than my own parents did. Some walls had scratches or dents, most of which Dick and I put there. They held a lot of memories, as well as a lot of pain.
The life we lived couldn't come without it.
Jason's door was shut tight, something which didn't surprise me. I could sense a lot of hostility in that kid. Like all of us, he had a troubled past, even if he refused to tell us about it. I stood outside of the door and knocked.
"I don't want tea, Alfred," Jason replied.
I smiled, "Sorry, kid, I'm not Alfred."
For a moment, he was silent. The doorknob turned, and Jason opened it. He held a book in his hand, hanging loosely by his side.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Visiting," I replied, "Apparently, everyone else finds me annoying."
"So do I."
"I'm going to ignore that," I glared at him, "Anyways, I thought we could hang out. Do something."
Jason stared at me, "You want to hang out with me?"
"Yeah, aren't you listening?"
"But, I'm a kid," Jason replied, "And you're not. Why would an adult want to hang out with a kid?"
I shrugged, "I like to think I'm still a kid inside. Come on, I'll buy you ice cream."
Jason hesitated.
"With toppings?"
"Whatever toppings you want."
"Alright," Jason threw his book on the bed, "I'm in."
"Great."
***
"I'm so getting this for Bruce," I said.
Jason and I had decided to get some last minute Christmas shopping done. We went to The Gotham City Mall. It was packed, but that made it all the more fun. Currently, I held up a pair of Batman pajamas. Jason snorted, "Get the Superman ones."
"Genius!"
I grabbed the pajamas in question and draped them over my arm. Jason cackled, "Oh, I can't wait to see the look on his face when he opens those."
"I imagine something like this."
My face deadpanned. I did my best to show no emotion at all, except malice in my eyes. Jason laughed harder.
"You're like a female Bruce!"
"I don't know whether to be offended or complimented."
Both of us laughed. We had spent two hours together, and he had gotten somewhat friendlier with me. I don't think he would ever fully let me in, but I could get as close as possible. From what Bruce has said, he's going to take Jason in as his ward. That meant that Jason would be my little brother.
I couldn't be more grateful.
"That's Bruce, Dick, and Barbara down," I stated, "that leaves Alfred and you."
Jason glanced up at me, "You're going to get me a Christmas present?"
"Duh, and it's going to be totally awesome."
Jason smiled. In his eyes, I could see something different. I wasn't sure if it was shock or gratefulness. Either way, it was good.
"I'm going to get something for you too," Jason suddenly said, "It'll be even better."
"I doubt you'll be able to top what I'm going to get you."
"Oh, it's on."
Both of us glared at each other before cracking up. We passed by several groups of people, a few who turned to glance at us. I'm not sure if they thought we were acting crazy, or if they recognized us as Bruce Wayne's wards.
"Let's go get some food," I stated, "Ice cream is not a good dinner."
Jason smiled, "I'm feeling pizza."
"Pizza, yes."
The two of us left the mall, and went onto the slightly emptier streets. The snow had stopped falling, but that didn't stop the mounds on the sides of the walkways. We had to avoid several patches, in order to stay upright.
"Lucy, can I ask you something?" Jason asked.
I glanced down at him, "Sure, Jay, what?"
"Were you ever scared?" Jason asked, "Like, when you did what I do."
I knew what he meant without him having to say it. Smiling, I placed a hand on his shoulder, "Every day. I woke up scared, I went to bed scared, you don't live the life we do without it. But, let me tell you, fear is natural. Fear is what separates you from the bad guys. With fear comes something to work for, something that drives you forward. With fear, comes courage."
Jason absorbed every word I said. I thought it would be too much to hope for him to actually take what I said to heart.
"I'm scared," Jason replied, "I'm scared that I'm worthless. I'm a hero, right? That's what Robin is, but I can't save everyone."
I wondered what brought this up. Perhaps they lost a victim in their recent crusade. Maybe Robin was right there. I knew that feeling all too well.
"A wise man once told me that a hero is someone who knows they can't save everyone," I explained, "A hero is someone who knows there will be casualties because of them, but gets up and fights anyways, because they know they can save several lives, but they can't save the world."
Jason stared at me as I spoke. Those words had saved my life once. They shaped me into the person I am today, and away from the path of a villain. I could only hope they would save Jason as well.
To my surprise, Jason surged forward and hugged my waist. I was taken aback for a moment, but quickly returned the hug. It was the first sign of affection I had ever seen the boy show.
"Maybe you're not so annoying," Jason muttered.
I smiled, "That means a lot."
"I'll kill you if you ever bring this up again."
"Don't worry, Jaybird, I won't."
He smiled. After a moment's hesitation, I said, "Let's go get some food, I'm starved."