The act of being "Strange" ♡ vkook

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(Sorry for the late update!! I apologise to the people who were waiting I procrastinated a lot 😫😫 Also I just wanted this to turn out good.. not sure if it's my best but I tried •~•)

Jimin||

I hate this.. I hate all of this. Betrayal. Hurting. Pain. Love.. love makes me sick! Why must the world be so "happy"?

Because in the end, we are all going to die so what's the point of everything!! EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IS POINTLESS!!! MEANINGLESS!!!! NOTHING MATTERS!!!

In the world, it wants me to suffer.. it's doing a great job! I hate.. everything...

But 'hate' is a strong word, a stronger one would represent my mood perfectly!! This is all bullshit! And my suffering obviously means nothing!!!

Maybe I should be like "oh there's more worst situations out there." But that doesn't change the fact, that it's still fucking bad!!!

All of this is making my head spin in frustration, makes my stomach turn and... makes the voices stronger.....

I can't stop what I can't control.. I guess it's just there and I have to deal with it but ITS STILL FUCKING ANNOYING!!

But I need to deal with that even though I never deserve to have this! I wish I was stronger, I wish I could be strong but I'm not and never can be..

Mentally and physically..

I just can't do anything anymore. I can't stand up for myself, I always seem to need help!

It's so frustrating!!

But you know what?

I shouldn't care anymore.. Because my frustration and anger isn't going to help anything but some part of me thinks or hopes it will.. (Jhopes)

I'm probably being irrational but I can't help it and no matter how much I try to calm myself.. I can't.

All of this build up of frustration and anger, even though I want to move on.. it's stupid but at the same time, it's justified.

In moments, I think and look back on my life.. reliving moments I wish could have last forever, wish I could live again and again... but looking back then and now.. I've noticed, the good moments aren't going to last forever.

I'm an idiot to think that I should live back in the past or something but now I think more and more, contemplating everything.. every memory...

I am sure, at one point or another, something happened to me.. I'm not initially sure what or who did it but all I know something happened to me.

Obviously, something happened but my mind likes to cheat and play around with me, because I can't remember..

My schizophrenia isn't something I like to tell people a lot, being scared of rejection and anything of that kind.. absolutely scares me..

Schizophrenia isn't a good thing.

I'm sure that's known because the disorder isn't rainbows and unicorns.. it's an eye opening thing, to be truthful.

It shows the mind.. in a way, but I wouldn't say it shows the mind.. it's more the mind controls the body.

And obviously the mind does control your body, but it forces the body to do things a person wouldn't want to do.