Ultimate Sacrifice - FINISHED

Chapter 13

ALISON

We are waiting for the test results. The doctor wasn't sure what is wrong with me, so he did every test possible. From full body scans up to blood tests. The stress is eating me up from inside. I kept having nightmares last night. I hope I didn't ruin prom for Adam. The doctor finally calls us to his office. He looks serious, not making jokes like earlier. I take a seat on one of the navy chairs in his office. My parents sit down on the chairs next to me. "I got your test results. Your blood tests came back clean, but unfortunately I have bad news. Your scans showed a tumor in your liver. We will do further tests to determine how we will go ahead. I am so sorry," the doctor says. My heart sinks and my skin turn pale. Did I hear correctly? Is my cancer back? My mother breaks out in tears. I can't grasp what the doctor said. I can't go through this again! "So her cancer is back, but this time it is liver cancer," my dad says. When he says those words I can't take it anymore. I get up and storm out of the room. I lock myself in one of the bathroom stalls. I just sit there on the seat and cry. I cry until there is no tears left inside of me. Cancer! I have to go through this hell again. I have been in here for at least an hour and no-one came. They must be keeping their distance. There is a knock on the door. I don't answer. I don't want to talk to them now. "Alison, it's me!" I hear Adam saying. He is here! I unlock the door and throw myself into his arms. My body is shaking as I hold onto him. My tears make his shirt wet. He is crying too. "We will do this together. We will fight this together. I will be by your side for every step of this nightmare," he says. I cry even more when I hear his broken voice. He sounds like he is hurting, but is trying to hold it together for me. I let go of him and sit down on the floor with my face hidden as I put my head on my knees. He sits down next to me with his arms around me. The heat of his body calms me down. We sit there like that in silence for a few minutes. "The doctor is waiting for you. You have to go now," he says in a calm voice. I wipe the tears from my face and take his stretched out hand. He pulls me up and walks to the office with me with his arm around my shoulders. I feel safe around him.

ADAM

When I get to the hospital I immediately see Alison's parents waiting for me at the entrance. Mrs Matthews' eyes are puffy and red. She's been crying. Mr Matthews looks worried and sad. "Thank you for coming," Mrs Matthews says. "Where is she?" I ask. "She ran out of the office into the bathroom. I think she is hiding from us," her mom says. "What did the doctor say?" I ask the question that's been bussing around in my mind. "She has liver cancer," Mr Matthews says and comforts his wife as she starts crying again. I feel a lump in my throat. Cancer! Alison has cancer. I can't think of anything to say. "Would you mind talking to her. I think she wants to see you," Mrs Matthews asks through her sobs. "Of course," I say trying to hide the weird sound in my voice. They take me to the bathroom where Alison is. I know it is a ladies room, but I have to talk to her. There is no-one inside. One of the stall doors are closed. That must be where she is. I knock on the door, but there is no answer. "Alison, it's me!" I say. Alison opens the door. The first thing I see is the intense sadness on her face. It breaks my heart seeing her like this. A few tears roll down my cheeks. She grabs hold of me and I hold her tightly. Her body is shaking and her sobs are getting louder. I stroke her head with my left hand trying to calm her down. Memories of my mother comes into my mind. She reacted the same way when she got the news. She was hysterical and my dad had to comfort her. I feel just as powerless as I felt then.

ALISON

"The cancer doesn't seem to be too aggressive. We will start you on chemo therapy next week. We will do one round to see how the tumor reacts to the chemo," the doctor says. His voice is dripping with empathy. "Will I lose my hair again?" I ask, trying to fight back the tears. I will never forget the feeling of losing my hair. It was worse than the chemo. "There might be a light thinning, but no, you will not lose your hair. The type of chemo you will receive does not cause hair loss," he says. At least there is one less thing to worry about. Adam takes my hand. I look up into his brown eyes. The happiness is drained from them, and in its place came fear and sadness. "You will still have other side effects like any type of chemo," the doctor adds. Now my life will be feeling sick all the time for the next few weeks. "Come in next week Thursday around 3 pm for the chemo. I will see you then," the doctor says and gets up. He shakes my parents' hands and then we leave the room. Adam holds my hand all the way to the door. No-one says a word until we walk through the doors. "Alison, I don't know what to say," my mom says. She is looking down while she talks to me. "My neither. I have to go through everything again," I say. "All of us will be here for you. You will never be alone," Adam reassures me. He lets go of my hand. "Do you want me to come over, or do you want to be alone?" Adam asks. He looks mentally exhausted. "I think I am going straight to bed now, but you can come over tomorrow," I say. I just want to think everything through and process everything on my own for now. He went through enough with his mother's cancer. I don't want him to worry the whole time. "Okay," he says and hugs me goodbye. I watch as he gets into his car and drives off. "Can we go home now?" I ask my parents. Dad unlocks the car and we get in. The drive home is awkward. No-one wants to discuss what is going to happen now. "When we get home I immediately see Derek waiting outside. Now we have to tell him too. When the car stops I get out and run indoors, up the stairs and straight into my room. I shut the door and lay down on my bed. The tears run freely as I lay there with my arms wrapped around the teddy bear Adam bought me for Valentines day. It is a big brown bear with a pink ribbon and a heart on his chest. He said that I will always be able to hold him close even if he isn't there. I can hear my parents talking to Derek downstairs. The news will break him. When I had cancer as a kid he couldn't understand why I didn't want to play with him as much as I used to. He wanted to know why cancer got all my attention. Now that he is older he will understand the extent of the disease. He will understand how hard it is going to be for me. I cry more when I imagine his face when he hears the news. I hear my phone beep beside my bed. I didn't take it with me this morning. I ignore it and just try to sleep. Maybe I will wake up from this nightmare as if nothing happened. Maybe I will be the same healthy person I have been for years. My door opens, but I don't turn around to look who it is. "Alison, can I just be with you for a while," the person says. It is Derek. I turn around and make place for him on the bed. He lays down beside me. He is crying. "I am so sorry," Derek says. "I will fight this monster and I will beat it. I did it once and I can do it again," I say. "You better. I can lose you Alison," he says. I mess up his hair in the way he hates, but this time he doesn't complain. "Jake is coming. Mom called him to let him know. He says he will be here until you feel better," Derek says. Jake can't do that. His studies are very important. "What about his studies?" I ask. "He says he will talk to the university and work things out. He's putting you first now," he answers. I give him a kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Derek. You are one of the reasons I will do everything in my power to stay alive," I say. He is still wiping tears away. "I love you too, Alison," he says. We talk for a few minutes before he leaves. I close my eyes and wait for sleep to come.