Living Like This

Twelve

"My parents died when I was little. I don't remember them. When I was first adopted, everything was fine. The parents were strict, but my new siblings were nice. Gabriel and Balthazar, two of my older brothers, were especially nice to me. And I didn't mind the strictness. But that started changing when I started noticing boys. When I realized I was gay, I told everyone. My parents were religious, but I thought they would accept me. But they weren't as accepting as I thought they would be. They kept me almost under lock and key. I wasn't allowed to leave the house by myself. Other than that they left me alone, except... Naomi. I don't know if our parents put her up to it or she did it of her own accord, but a few times a week she would come in and... she would try to fix me. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. That started when I was fourteen, and for three years it continued. Dean, I hated myself. By senior year of high school I was ready to kill myself. I was going to. But then I met Aaron. Dean, he literally saved my life. I had a blade, I was going to... but he found me. He kissed me then, and we fell in love, and he convinced me to go to college with him. He gave me the courage to leave my family behind and finally be free. We went to college together and moved in together and I can't imagine life without him. I need you to understand Dean. You're my best friend. Please understand."

***

Dean didn't understand, Cas could see that. They were sitting on the couch in Cas and Aaron's apartment. Dean was staring at Cas, and Cas thought he saw tears glittering in Dean's eyes. But he was just tricking himself, no one would cry over him.

"Cas... you said Aaron taught you to be free, but... are you really free?" Dean asked. Cas frowned.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Do you really get to do what you want to? Aaron has you on a leash, Cas," Dean said. Cas stared at Dean.

"I thought you would understand. I thought that once you knew the story you would realize that Aaron loves me. Why can't you accept that?" He asked.

"Because he beats you, Cas! He's a horrible human being! You deserve better than him, you-" Dean cut himself off.

"I what?" Cas asked. Dean lunged forward and kissed Cas suddenly. Cas' eyes shot open. He shouldn't be doing this, he-

"Castiel." The voice from from behind Cas was quiet with rage. Cas shoved Dean away and jumped up, turning around to face Aaron.