Living Like This

Twenty-Six

Cas missed Dean. He hadn't stayed with him for very long, but he'd still gotten used to it. To Dean cooking breakfast for him, Dean asking how he'd slept at the beginning of each day and asking what he'd done at the end of each day. Dean was so considerate. But he was back with Aaron now, and that made him happy. It did. He'd had a setback when his stuff had shown up in boxes on their doorstep, but for the most part he was getting back to normal.

He just couldn't stop thinking about Dean.

"Hey Cas," Aaron said one morning as he walked into the kitchen one morning a few days after Cas came back.

"Hi Aaron," Cas replied, smiling. Aaron put an arm around Cas and Cas rested his head on Aaron's shoulder.

"I'm glad you're back. Things have been crazy over the last few months, I'm happy things are getting back to normal," Aaron said.

"Maybe not too normal though," Cas said, smiling happily.

"What does that mean?" Aaron asked. Cas picked his head up and looked at Aaron.

"Well our relationship was far from perfect. I want us to be better now," Cas said.

"We were fine until that Winchester bastard showed up," Aaron said.

"Please don't call him that. He was my friend," Cas said. "And it wasn't his fault. He just didn't understand, we can't blame him for that."

"I can. He almost ruined us. Cas, he took you away from me," Aaron said.

"He was just trying to help me. Surely we can forgive him for that," Cas said. Aaron took his arm from around Cas' shoulders.

"Of course we can't forgive him!" Aaron exclaimed. Cas flinched.

"I'm sorry. Let's just stop talking about this, okay?" Cas asked. Aaron nodded and stalked into the other room.

***

Aaron and Cas fought more now than they did before. Mostly about Dean, but not always. Cas didn't know what had changed, but something had.

"I'm planning on visiting Gabriel tomorrow," Cas said over dinner one night. "I guess I forgot to tell you, but I met him again while I was with Dean. It was amazing." Aaron looked up at Cas.

"Why would you visit him? Cas, your family was horrible to you," he said.

"Gabriel wasn't. Aaron, he never hated me. I thought he did, but he didn't," Cas said, smiling. Aaron set down his silverware.

"Cas you can't trust him," he said. "They treated you like dirt, and Gabriel is no different. They just want you back under their thumb."

"But Gabriel seemed so sincere. He didn't even search me out, we found each other by accident," Cas said.

"I can't let you do that, Cas. I can't lose you to your family, not after everything we've been through," Aaron told him.

"What? You... you can't just stop me from going!" Cas exclaimed.

"Watch me!" Aaron shouted, standing up suddenly. Cas' eyes filled with tears, but he didn't say anything. "You need to trust me, Cas. I know what's best." Cas stood up.

"I need to get out of here. I'm sorry. I'll be back soon," Cas said, before walking out the door. He walked through the city for a long time, thinking. He loved Aaron... at least he thought he did. But as much as Aaron said things were getting back to normal, Cas didn't think so. Something still felt broken, and it didn't seem to be fixing.