Living Like This

Twenty-Seven

Cas woke with a jolt, covered in sweat, his heart racing. He looked over at Aaron and was about to wake him up, but decided against it. Aaron didn't need to be bothered. Cas grabbed his book and his phone off his bedside table and went out into the living room. He tried reading for a bit, but eventually he just ended up staring at his phone. God he wished he could call Dean. He had tried before, but Dean had never answered him. Cas had spent most of his life calming himself down with no one to talk to, he should be used to it. But after Dean had started helping him, all his experience seemed to have disappeared. Cas picked up his phone, debating for a moment. Dean had made it very clear he didn't want to talk to Cas... but Cas found himself punching in Dean's number anyway.

As Cas heard the phone start to ring, he realized he had no idea what he would say. Not that it mattered, Dean probably wouldn't pick up. But Cas could still wish. And he did. As the phone rang he found his wish building and building. God, he wanted to talk to Dean. He needed to talk to Dean - but no, it was Dean's voicemail. Tears filled Cas' eyes as he heard Dean's voice, even if it was just telling him to leave a message.

"Hi Dean. It's Cas. I... I know you don't want to talk to me. That's okay. I just had a nightmare, that's all. I miss you," Cas said. He paused for a minute, letting the silence grow. "I really miss you. That's all," he finished. He pulled his phone away from his ear and hung up, picking his book back up and trying to fill time by reading again. He kept his phone close, just in case, but it never moved. Cas went back to sleep a half hour later. He still wasn't really calmed down, but he didn't want to sit alone in the darkness anymore.