Ecstasy

Chapter 52

Tyson:

I think the next morning I was closer to Calla than I had been to anyone in a long time. We spent most of the night learning about each other. Our favourite foods, our favourite films, our pasts and our dreams.

I knew if it continued like this something would go wrong. I would stuff it up or she'd give up on me. It was a mistake telling her all that last night. A mistake I'm sure.

I sighed and looked down at her. She was still asleep. I clenched my fist, my fingers were going numb with her tucked in the crook of my arm. She murmured in her sleep and threw her arm across my chest, clutching at my t-shirt. I felt sick. I had to get out of here. I slowly detached myself from Calla, careful not to wake her, unzipped the tent as quietly as I possibly could and went for a walk.

I had been gone for a good hour when I walked past the shower block and bumped into Calla. Her hair was wet and she was carrying a towel and her shower bag.

"Hey." She smiled at me, and slipped her arm around mine and joined me on the walk back down to the lake and our tents. "Where have you been?"

I paused in my steps and took my arm out of her grasp. "Stop being so nice."

She looked at me funny.

"I–I can't do this." I took a step back.

"What?" she looked confused.

"This." I motioned between us. "I just can't."

The temperature seemed to drop.

"What are you talking about?" She looked worried, terrified. "What do you mean?"

I stuffed my hands in my pockets and stared at the ground. I couldn't meet her eyes. "I can't."

"Tyson-" She took a step towards me but I stepped back. I could see the hurt in her eyes. I couldn't look at her, my heart was beating so fast.

"What's happening?" She hugged herself. I could hear the emotion in her voice, I chanced a glance. Her eyes were wet. "After last night, I thought-"

"Last night was a mistake." I couldn't look at her, I turned my back. My muscles were tense, frozen. I couldn't move. I wanted to turn around and tell her I was sorry, I didn't mean it, that I wanted her so desperately. But I stood still, with my back to her. We stood like that for a few minutes. It felt like hours. All of a sudden I felt her arms encircle my waist. I jumped; it was not what I expected.

"I know you're scared," she mumbled quietly into my back, I almost couldn't hear her. "So am I, but–" She took a deep breath."I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you. Okay?"

I sighed and took her hands, and turned to face her. She looked up at me with a determined stare. I took her hand and laid her palm against my cheek, holding it there.

I exhaled. I couldn't say no to that face. "Thank you." I said after a moment's hesitation, accepting defeat.

She smiled, pulling me into a hug. Victory was hers. "You're welcome."

We stood like that for a while. Then she pulled back and took my hand, pulling me off down the hill.

***

"So, you and Calla huh?"

I blew out a cloud of cigarette smoke and looked over at the communal tarp we had set up a kitchen under. Calla stood there laughing and chatting with the other girls as they washed the plastic plates from an early dinner.

"Yeah." I answered Cade and flicked ash off the end of the butt.

"You're lucky."

I looked at the girls again. Calla was smiling as she flicked her hair out of her face. I felt the corners of my mouth twitch up when she laughed.

"You guys serious?"

I looked over at Cade. This conversation was starting to annoy me. He locked eyes with me in an uncomfortable stare. He wouldn't look away until I answered.

"I like her." I finally said.

"Did you like Holly?" His question made the air awkward. Finally I knew where he was going.

I took another drag on my cigarette before speaking. "Mate, she was the one that decided to cheat. I wasn't your girlfriend, she was."

He frowned and looked at me again, contemplating my answer or rejecting it I couldn't tell. Slowly he stood up and walked into the darkness, disappearing to the waters edge.

"Hey," Sam sat down beside me. "What's with him?"

I shrugged and stubbed out the butt, pushing it into the sand. I stood up and made my way over to the kitchen.

"Hello?" Calla said in a light voice when I slid my arms around her waist from behind.

"Oh." Her voice changed octaves when I kissed her neck. She turned her head to kiss me on the lips.

"Ew." She pulled away and slapped me on the cheek playfully. "Cigarette breath, you stink. Go shower and brush you teeth."

"Yes ma-am." I saluted her with one hand, which resulted in a giggle that made me want to kiss her again, but instead I headed off for the shower.