Ecstasy

Chapter 54

Tyson:

The Saturday night rugby was playing on the TV and I was too engrossed in the game to pay my father any animosity as he watched it beside me. In an ad break, I could feel his eyes on me as I flicked through the messages on my phone. The sloshing of his rum bottle was loud when the TV was muted, and every time he tipped it up to drink, it was like someone walked through an unseen puddle on the street and soiled their socks.

Frank groaned, and I shouted at the TV, when the team gave the ball away.

"Oh come on!"

I looked down at my phone checking the time. I was meant to meet the band at Sean's house for practice at eight o'clock. It was seven thirty. I knew I should've been moving by then. I shifted in my seat, pulling out the packet of cigarettes I had bought for Nate on the way home from school. He hadn't turned eighteen yet and he's lost his fake I.D. I fumbled in the coffee-table draw for a light.

Mouthing the cigarette between my lips, I cupped the lighter out of habit and took a deep breath as it flared alight.

Frank laughed quietly in his corner. The game was nearly over and I knew the other team would win.

"What's funny?" I asked, not particularly interested. I inhaled and blew out smoke. My lungs filling up with chemicals and death.

He didn't answer me at first, he was muttering under his breath and I couldn't understand what he was saying. He slammed his bottle down on the table. It was empty.

He laughed again. I turned to look at him then. He was staring at me across the room.

"You know, I used to wonder whether you were my son." He was still laughing, trying to slur the words out over his ugly gasping. "You looked like your mother when you were younger. But now. There." He motioned to me. "You're me."

He laughed again and I felt my blood start to boil. My fists were clenching and I just wanted to walk over there and thump his head in. He leaned over in his armchair, struggling to move. Like a whale on the beach, or a cockroach on it's back. He picked up a new bottle of tawny liquid, unscrewing the cap. I pitied him then. I never wanted to be that. I stubbed out the cigarette in disgust and stood up.

"I'll never be like you." I almost hissed it.

He laughed again. "You already are, boy."

My hands were curling into fists and he laughed harder at the look on my face. I took a deep breath and walked out of the room silently. I just kept thinking, I am not him. I will never be him.

***

Music was blasting out of Sean's iPod speakers and the room smelt like hash smoke. I had a beer in my hand and sat between a slightly intoxicated Lilly and a crashing Sean. Nate was lying on his back on the floor, staring up at the ceiling as he smoked a joint, and Jarrah had his arms around a girl I had long since forgotten the name of when he introduced her to us at the beginning of the night.
Band practice had finished an hour or two ago and we were all unwinding and exhausted.

Lilly looked up, suddenly remembering something. She jumped up and went digging in her handbag in the corner of the room. "Look what I bought the other day. Are you proud of me? I did all the talking myself." She said smugly, as she sat down again beside me.

She clutched a bag full of a dozen little pills in her hand. She split the bag open reaching in to take one, she popped it in her mouth with no hesitation, like it was candy. "You want one?" she asked, offering me the bag.

"Uh, no thanks," I declined.

"Naw, come on! They're good quality." She smiled, shaking the bag enticingly.