Reality Check

REALITY CHECK : You matter!

Have you ever felt like you don't belong anywhere? That even when you are surrounded by people and noise and things and music... they are still not enough to vanish, or even to fade, the loneliness inside you. It is as if there is a black hole in your chest and no matter how much you fill it, no matter how hard you try to satisfy it, you would still end up feeling so empty. And the emptiness would creep into your veins, triggering all the other emotions that you've been trying so hard not to disturb.

Have you ever felt like you are living in a bottomless ocean of painful darkness? That no matter how hard you try to swim against the current, towards the surface, the pressure underneath you is far stronger than any willpower that you could ever muster. And that no matter how hard you struggle, you would still feel like you're sinking deeper and deeper... and deeper still. It is as if you are drowning though you could still feel your lungs rationally breathing.

Have you ever felt like you are not enough? That whatever you do it's still insufficient for people to appreciate you. And that everyone always ends up being disappointed in you – including yourself. As if you are wrong... all the time.

Have you ever felt like you couldn't bear the weight any longer? As if there are these voices inside your head telling you to give up already?

Well, then, listen to me. Look at me. Because I am here to tell you: DON'T! Don't believe that voice telling you that you are inferior. Don't listen to that voice reminding you of your painful past. Don't listen to your doubts. Don't listen to your fears.

I've heard them in my head too-- those voices trying to convince me that I am ugly, that I am just a nobody, that I am up to no good, and that no one would accept nor understand me. Those smirking faces reminding me of my mistakes, of my past, of my weaknesses. Those whispers telling me that I don't have a purpose, that the world would be better without me. And that soothing voice-- probably the sweetest one I have ever heard, convincing me to end it all with the edge of the knife.

If that voice is convincing you that you could numb the emotional wounds with physical pain, it's a lie! Believe me, once you realize that you have flesh wounds from last night's cry, it would just add up to the pain you're already trying to bear inside. Alcohol? It doesn't even make you forget the depression. It just gets you wasted and create more mistakes. Yes, it is tempting to follow that wicked voice inside your head. How can it not when it offers the easiest way out? But I tell you, it's a trap!

Because you see, you are better than what that voice is telling you. And the reason why it keeps on bugging you is that it is afraid of you-- of what you can be if you'll realize how beautiful you are, of how far you can go when you'll realize how strong you are, of what you can do if you'll realize how amazing you are.

So I'm here to tell you... Don't give up. I know it's hard. But don't cut your wrist. Don't hang your neck. Don't overdose. Don't put a bullet into your head. Don't jump off. Do not. Do not let that envious voice control you. It is not worth it.

You know what is worth it-- rather, who is worth it? It is YOU. You are too precious to die. You are too beautiful. You are more than enough. You might think you don't have a purpose, but let me tell you that you're just confuse right now that's why you feel unimportant.

You are tired; so, sleep, rest-- but not permanently. Tomorrow, your problems are still there, but you would have a new strength to face them. Take a break, and stand up once again when you feel like it. It's okay. Life is not a race. If you feel sad, cry-- there is nothing wrong with that -- don't laugh if you don't feel like it, it would just add to the depression thinking that you're smiling though you feel dead inside. If you feel anxious or angry, shout. It's normal. Silence would just amplify the voices inside your head. Besides, the world wouldn't mind a little complaint. But don't stop fighting. Don't stop moving. Giving up might seem to be the easiest way to deal with things. But believe me, life is worth fighting for. You are worth fighting for.

If you feel like your world is already too heavy for you to carry, hold on. I will help you carry your baggage.

If you feel like you are drowning, hold your breath for a while. I'm coming for you.

If you feel so alone; believe me, you are not. I am here for you.

We are here for you.

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If you are truly depressed and you need someone to talk to, maybe you can comment... I'll try my best to reach you and listen to you. Keep fighting, dear friend!