Hurt

Worse

My mom is already gone and I have 10 minutes to get ready for school, I'm in such a rush. I put on my leggings and long sleeved gray shirt grabbed a coke and ran out the door. Time went by really fast that day surprisingly, when I got home, I grabbed the mail and noticed a letter from CRC. Oh god no, my mom must've scheduled something. It basically said "After reading your letter we think it would be best to put your daughter back in the after school program." No, no, no, no, I can't go back there I hid the letter grabbed my blades and cut my ankles until blood was everywhere. I took a quick shower, dried my hair and found my sister fast asleep. I made some soup and went to bed. My mom woke me up the next day to tell me school was cancelled and she called off of work. *oh great a whole day with my mom* I got up at 8:00 a.m and made a bowl of froot loops, my mom didn't say anything... yet. "Do you want to go to the movies today girls?" My mom asks I say sure so does my sister, "ok how about frozen?" We went to see it at 2:00 p.m and got back at 4:00 p.m which is when my mom questioned me about everything! "You will be going back into counceling Jazmine. You need help!" My mom said, to which I emediately replied "NO I don't!" and ran to my room and cried until eventually my mom came In to tell me she was going to bed, I rolled my eyes and lied down. My mom took me to CRC the next day. I walked in crying, everyone there was so ugly and greasy I hated it! When the fat counceler called my name to come back I stomped towards her reluctantly about to burst into tears again. When me and my mom sat down, Lydia the counceler said, "Nice to meet you." With the most fake smile and too cheery voice I'd ever heard. I didn't talk, just listened, my mom said a lot of crap that wasn't true such as "She cuts for attention." or "She's too emotional." *Well sorry I have feelings asshole!* I rolled my eyes to everything they said and after 30 minutes of pure agony we could finally leave. My mom took all of my electronics which included music. *I can't live without music, it keeps me breathing.* When we got home I stomped upstairs and slit both of my wrists, took a freezing cold shower, because I deserved pain! I'm obviously useless so why give myself the luxury of warm water and soft skin wrists? I'm a psychopath right? That's what all people say so why not punish myself to save them the trouble? I'm stupid and fat. I'm going to kill myself! Soon.