Hurt

Medication

I woke up at 8:00 a.m today, it's a Sunday. My mom is still asleep but of course my sister is up, she always is. I made a bowl of Apple Jacks, sat on the couch and scrolled through Instagram. I heard my mom walking down the stairs, I put in my headphones and acted like I was listening to music. I heard my mom say to my sister "I'm taking Jazmine to CRC to see if she needs to be on medication, we will be leaving soon so get ready." I took out my headphones and screamed "I'm not going back to the nasty grease filled nut house!" She replied saying, "It's not that bad, and if you want out then I suggest you stop hurting yourself and stop trying to seek attention!" *Does she think sadness is a damn choice, I didn't just wake up one day saying, oh ya I think I'll be depressed today.* "It's not my choice!" I shouted. She just ignored me and went to take a shower. I ran up to my room picked up my blades and cut the word useless into my fat legs! I washed away the blood with a wet rag but it continued to bleed, I decided to put about 10 band aids on it, after about 5 minutes it finally stopped. I put on my favorite blue leggings and blue-green shirt on and cried until I heard my mom getting out of the shower, I rubbed away the tears with my blanket and did my makeup. at 10:00 my mom yells up to my room, "It's time to go Jazmine!" I groan and walk downstairs slouched down, looking sad. My sister wouldn't stop singing this stupid song about cells in the car, I kept screaming at her to stop, that just made her sing it louder and more obnoxiously. As I walked in I saw a family sitting down, they were absolute white trash! The dad had ripped jean shorts on and a dirty small tank top, the mom was ten times the size of the rascal she was sitting on and had a giant pink "shirt" on with ugly navy blue sweats, the son had on shorty shorts and was wearing makeup! I couldn't help but mumble to myself "I don't belong here! I'm not like these people, I am mentally stable, I just have emotions!" I heard the "doctor" say, "Jazmine I'm ready for you." I stand up, staring at the ground, sighing and pouting. When the doctor tried to ask me questions I ignored him but my mom answered instead, he said he thought I had depression, anxiety, ADHD, or OCD but that he couldn't rule anything out until he knew for sure. I was pissed, I knew I had depression, I know I have ADHD, but I also know that I don't have anxiety and I don't have OCD! I stomped out of the room angrily and ignored my mom and sister in the car, once we were home I went upstairs and cut my wrist about 30 times. Why me? Why do I have to be put through this? I thought to myself! It was now 5:30 p.m and I was curled up on my bed crying. My mom walked into my room and yelled at me, she said "Stop trying to get people to feel sorry for you! Now get up and go do thaw damn dishes!" I stood up crying wishing I were dead, as I was loading the dish washer I looked to my left and saw my sister sitting down laughing at me. *Why is she so damn favored? I just want to tell my mom about her and Tim, but my mom won't believe me.*