esoteric ↯ dean winchester x reader

lvii.

Dean was hesitant to talk, so Crowley tried provoking: "Come on, darling. Don't play coy."

"I think Amara is the Darkness." Dean admitted.

"Interesting. So, what now?" Crowley asked, "You kill her? You? Or that pathetic excuse for a witch in the other room?"

"I don't have a choice." Dean said, broken.

"Please. Even if you could murder a baby, you couldn't murder that baby. I saw the way you looked at her. Me, on the other hand, it's not like it'd be my first." Crowley said. Sounding suave and professional.

"Oh, is that an offer?" Dean asked, really hoping it was. He couldn't kill that baby.

"It's a promise -- right after I'm done with her." Crowley turned his back to go to Amara's room. Dean and you didn't like the sound of that.

"Stay away from her!" Dean moved forward but Crowley held him in one place against the wall, smashing paintings to the floor. Dean tried to move but was stuck against the wall like a bug in a spiderweb.

"Oh, Dean. Adorable little Dean. I want that child, and I get what I want." Crowley said, he was so fixed on Dean's position. It allowed you to slip behind him, "You and Sam don't understand. I'm not your bloody sidekick! We've had some good times. So I'm gonna give you one chance -- just one -- to walk out that door, or I'm gonna take you apart atom by atom. Do you understa--" You stabbed his palm with an angel blade, "Aah! Bitch!"

"Go!" You turned to Dean, he was released from the wall and you watched him run with his demon blade out into the hall.

"You're gunna regret this." Crowley sing song-ed, keeping the pain in his hand covered.

"If I were you, I wouldn't be the cocky one." You said, knowing what you were capable of. If you wanted to, you could make him bow to you. You could obliterate him in a second, why didn't you?

"(Y/N)?!" Dean called for you down the hall, you took your eyes of Crowley for one second to go see if Dean was okay, "She's gone."

"What do you mean she's gone?" You asked, running down the hall to go see for yourself. And sure enough, an empty crib was laid out.

"I mean she's gone." Dean reiterated and folded the blankets over.

"How could that happen?" You were so confused. But now it was safe to assume this baby was the Darkness. You wished you came clean about your bad feeling sooner.

"I don't know- wait-" Dean stopped then darted back up the hall to see the master bedroom. Where only an angel blade stuck in the wall with blood dripping down it could be seen.

~

You sat in the passenger seat of the Impala. Silence from the stereo. Dean was white knuckling the steering wheel. You knew he was angry, but you didn't know how to make this better. You were the one who lost your family. So you kept staring out the window. Waiting for him to say something.

Even though he wasn't. He was probably the only person on Earth stubborn enough to do this.

"Am I getting the silent treatment the whole ride?" You finally asked, feeling restless. No answer. "Dean. Deeeeaaan. Dean!" You tried annoying him, hanging on him, laying in his lap while he's driving, "Dean. I'm sorry, I really am-"

"Are you ever gunna try telling me stuff?" Dean looked at you, hurt and frustrated, "Because, you know, I wanted to try this thing with you. I thought this would be good. I thought you trusted me but you just keep more and more stuff from me?"

"I don't mean to, Dean. All I'm used to is being on my own. And I know it's not an excuse or explain anything, it's just-" you struggled for something that wasn't the truth, "I-I don't know."

"Say it." He demanded, "You were going to say something, say it."

"I'm just scared that you're not going to like me when I say things like this." You admitted.

"Say things like what?" He was confused. Which in turn frustrated you.

"About this whole Nephilim bull crap!" You let it all out, all your worries, "Because I know how you think about it. I know you pity me because this whole power control situation is my issue, but also my damn Dad was Michael is a thing and I don't know what his plan was, I don't know what he did to you, because oh, hey-o! You haven't told me a damn thing about it yet. So I don't know if I even can bring up my abilities, that I hate, or not because I don't want to lose you or you think I'm a freak if I mess up or something, I don't know and I hate not knowing! And you deserve such a good normal woman and I know I'm literally incapable of doing that."

It was silent in the car for a few seconds while you caught your breath. You wanted him to say something. Anything. He didn't until you closed your eyes.

"There was a destined fight between Lucifer and Michael, it was going to be such a. Asty fight it would've turned the world into the apocalypse. Michael claimed I was his true vessel, him and some other angel dick Zachariah tried everything to make me say yes to letting him ride my waves." Dean went on to explain, "They put me through hell. And yeah, I'm never going to forgive Michael or any of the angel dousches beside Cass for what happened to me and Sam that year. But you weren't there. You didn't even know about what Daddy Dearest was doing so why would I blame you or be mad at you for that?"

"Are you sure?" You said, trying to reject the urge to cry of relief. He didn't speak but he nodded, "I'm sorry."

He grabbed your hand, "Me too."

"Can we try this again? Just be honest this time." You asked, squeezing his hand.

"Yeah." He said. Feeling awful that you felt like you couldn't trust him before. "I just don't want to feel like I'm losing you to someone who's not even here anymore."

"Not gunna happen, never was going to." You said, "As frustrated as you make me, this is the happiest I've been in years."

"Ditto." He said. There was a silence.

"Look at us, being all healthy." You said to break the tension, he shook his head in a silent laughter, bringing back that smile you missed.

~

Soon enough, you got home after helping Sam cure the town of Superior. You and Dean caught Sam up on the way back.

"All right, I still don't understand. I mean, I thought the darkness was a woman, not a child." Sam said, holding the door open for you two.

"Well, same here. I don't know. Maybe whatever I saw wasn't real. Maybe it was a vision." Dean sighed walking down the stairs.

"Vision?" You said, remembering what you saw when you prayed.

"Yeah." Dean shrugged getting to the sitting room.

"Huh. Pretty weird." Sam ended the conversation, accepting the vision.

"Yeah, weird with a weird cherry on a weird top." Dean sighed, "We got to get maid."

Dean said pointing to the giant pile of their stuff from when the Stynes raided the bunker. And the complete mess left from Dean and Castiels fight. It was so weird. It felt like there was so much time since you'd been here but in reality it had been so little.

Suddenly a thud came from around the pile, crashing some books and objects to the ground. You and the boys ran around it to see Castiel, laying there bruised, bloody, red eyes and clothes in tears.

"Help me."