esoteric ↯ dean winchester x reader

xxxix.

A cop's siren and flashing lights go off and appear behind him. Dean, in the Impala, sighs and pulls over. Knowing they will ask him for his license and registration, Dean pulls out the first fake I.D. he can find. He looks at it, frowning at the name, then shrugs. He could get himself out of anything.

"What's the problem, officer?" Dean rolled down his window and flashed the most flattering smile.

"License and reg." The officer said.

"Yep." Dean popped the 'p' and handed it over.

"Ashley J. Williams, huh?" The officer looks over his douschey shades.

"You can call me Ash." Dean corrected.

"Out of the car, Ashley." The officer demanded and Dean got out of the car.

"Well I wasn't speeding, I'm sober," Dean chuckled, "mostly sober, so what's this about?"

"Blinker's out." Officer said, then Dean heard a smash and saw a second officer behind his car with his nightstick in his right tail light.

"Hey!" Dean moves to stop him.

"That's a violation." Officer 1 continued and held Dean back.

"Don't." Dean warned, feeling his fist shake. Then the second officer looks at Dean in the face and smashed the other taillight.

"Two lights out." The second officer said.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean tries to charge at the second dousche but dousche # 1 grabs him and slams him against the Impala, then handcuffs him.

"And attempted assault of a police officer. Looks like we're taking you down to the station, boy."

"Oh I ain't your boy, Cletus." Dean groaned.

"Right now you are, so you best settle. Or you're gonna get an ass-whuppin', instead of a phone call."

~

Dean has one hand handcuffed to a chair in front of Dousche # 2's desk at the police station. Dean says nothing, just staring at him unblinkingly with a murderous look on his face as he goes through his box of fake I.D's.

"Ozzy Osbourne, Lemmy Kilmister, Freddy Mercury. Damn. I mean, they said you were a pro, but..." the officer said, wondering how he's been free all these years.

"Who said that?" Dean asked immediately following. He started to catch on that he was targeted.

"I'll ask the questions here." He replied. Going back through his endless I.D's

"Hmm." Dean hummed, thinking of his best way out.

"Like, for example, you got seventeen fake I.D.'s, and a trunk full of guns, knives, freakin' ninja stars." The officer, who began to become easier and easier to see that he was not an old-timer. "I mean, who are you, man?"

"I'm the guy that's gonna get out of here in about... thirty seconds." Dean smiled.

"Yeah, right." He scoffed. Dean leaned forward, staring at him in the face. Dean reached out and knocked the mug full of pens off of the desk and onto the floor.

"Real mature." Officer got up and walked around the desk to pick up the mug. When he leaned over, Dean punched him in the face with his free arm and threw him onto the floor, holding officer bitch on the ground with his strong legs.

"Keys. Keys, now!" Dean demanded quietly to not attract attention to their cubicle.

He winces as he reached around and holds out his keys. Dean grabbed them, and then stomps on his face with his foot, knocking him unconscious. Dean then unlocks his handcuffs, freeing himself.