How would you feel? (Harry Styles) || COMPLETED

23. Piece of Me

March 1st 2015, Tokyo

I unexpectedly woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I took it and saw Katherine's number on the screen. She was my publicist and she usually only called me when I had done whether something really bad or good publicly, usually bad though. For example, she had called me when I had exited a club visibly drunk in London and obviously yelled at me. I started overthinking about everything that I had done in this last couple of days but nothing came to my mind.

"Rise and shine Jade, I know this morning you were planning to rest but we got some damage control to do" her high-pitched voice immediately woke me up.

"What did I do this time?"

"A video of you and Harry Styles coming out of a restaurant from the 23rd of February has somehow leaked and is all over Twitter" she sighed, "people are saying that you're his new fling, that you're like a groupie and their fans believe you're using the boys to get more famous"

"Just because we went out to eat sushi once?"

"This is now your world lady, we had warned you" she sounded pissed, "but what's done is done so we need to do something" she then started explaining that I had a few last minute radio interviews in which they were going to ask me about me hooking up with the boys and I had to deny any rumors. She told me that I had to say that we were only good friends and that they were helping me to handle this craziness since they had gone through the same. I was also informed that I didn't have to be seen with them too much because their fans were going to turn into haters if we went out, which to me seemed completely senseless.

As soon as she hung up, I mistakenly logged onto Twitter. I followed fans so I saw people tweeting about us. I immediately looked for the video everybody was talking about. It was recorded from the back, Harry did turn around while I didn't but you could definitely tell it was me. Then I checked my mentions and noticed that the majority of them were from people who were now calling me names, telling me how fake I was and how I was using the boys. A lot of people were saying I was too ugly to date any of the boys but they were specifying that I certainly didn't deserve Harry. I was never a person who cared about what the world had to say about me but I was aware that Harry was way out of my limit. He was used to dating gorgeous models. I didn't consider myself ugly but I I was obviously not one of them.

Someone knocked on my door so I quickly logged off the app. I opened it to find a sleepy Lou with her huge bags of makeup and hair products. She sweetly smiled at me and from that smile I knew that she knew right away. She asked if I was feeling okay and I just nodded, taking some of her bags. Weirdly we didn't talk that much that morning, she was probably too tired while I was too busy thinking about what people had been saying about me.

My phone lighted up and I was surprised to read a text coming from Louis saying"Are you okay?". It made me smile. I answered that I was feeling okay and we texted for a while. He said that he was there if I was ever in need and I felt thankful to have someone as sweet and caring as him to call my friend.

I left the hotel and got in the car with Pat. I couldn't tell if he was pissed at me or just tired. If I had to be honest I was mad at myself because I hadn't thought about consequences when I had agreed on going to eat sushi in a restaurant with Harry. What surprised me the most was that I had immediately said yes, without thinking that he was a huge celebrity and that this was a possibility.

The driver announced that we had arrived, I stepped out of the car and was unexpectedly overwhelmed by a huge group of paparazzi who were yelling my name. I didn't know why but I was convinced that Katherine had called them and was actually happy about what had happened, at the end of the day they wanted me to date Harry publicly.

I did a few interviews and went to the venue directly. I hadn't seen or heard from Harry all day and I was starting to get nervous. I didn't know what were his thoughts about all of this, I wondered if he was concerned or didn't care at all, if he was angry or was used to it, if he had gotten in trouble like me or not, but I had a bad feeling.

My thoughts were interrupted by someone slamming the door open. I turned around and saw Harry entering the room. He apologetically smiled at me and I realized that, for some reason, he felt sorry.

"Hi" I looked down

"How are you?" he asked sounding concerned

"I'm okay, why do you sound so concerned?" I smiled at him but he didn't smile back, he actually looked very serious. He sat next to me but didn't answer my question.

"We need to talk about all of this" he suddenly said, "it can't happen again"

"What?" I raised my voice, not understanding if he meant that we couldn't be seen together publicly or we couldn't see each other at all

"I don't want people saying that you're a groupie or that you're using us to get to where you want" he stared at me, "I want people to know that you're a talented, beautiful, funny girl and that you deserve to be here... but they won't if they see us together again"

"I don't mind if we can't go out Harry, I-I just want to spend time with you, even if we have to stay in a fucking hotel room"

"Trust me that's what I want too" he looked down, "but I don't know if that's a good idea Jade"

"Why?" I asked

"Because I'm growing fond of you" he softly said

"And I'm growing fond of you... so what?"

"You don't get it" he ran his hand through his hair, "the media have the power to control the minds and it will ruin everything"

"The media doesn't have to know about us"

"But they will find out eventually and it will ruin everything" he bit his lower lip, "and it will be harder to end this" he finally said.

"You're scared because you're feeling something strong for once in your life and this is just your excuse to run from it"

"You're probably right but..."

"But what?" I started to get upset, "you don't know if it's worth it right?" I said pointing at us and he didn't answer. His silence talked for him though, making me feel a disappointment that I didn't think was possible to feel.

Pat interrupted us by entering the room and letting me know that I had to be on stage in ten minutes. I stood up, looked at Harry but he was looking down.

"I should have known" I said but he once again didn't say anything so I walked away from him, realizing it had been too good to be true.

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