How would you feel? (Harry Styles) || COMPLETED

31. Friends

April 6th 2015, London

I tried to call Harry to make things clear but, after a few attempts, I gave up. I knew it probably looked very wrong from those pictures but nothing had happened with Luke and I wanted to explain that to him myself. 

"Call me whenever you can x" I even texted him but he didn't answer. 

I laid on my bed but couldn't fall asleep. I started thinking about my life and I somehow ended up wondering if all I was doing was worth it. I had always dreamt of having this singing career... but was everything connected to it really what I wanted? Did I really want everybody making assumptions about my life and thinking they knew me?  Did I really want paparazzi following me around everywhere I went? Did I really want to have to hide my relationships? Probably not... but it was too late. 

Hours were going by, Harry hadn't called me yet and I still couldn't doze. I heard the front door opening and recognized Stella's steps. I stood up and walked to the kitchen. She was standing next to the sink holding her heels in her hands, drinking some water and looking like a mess. 

"Do you want some Advil?" I asked and she jumped, making me giggle

"Fuck" she yelled, "you scared the shit out of me" she heavily breathed, "yes, I do want some" she then answered so I handed her a pill

"Care to explain why you look like this?" I smirked

"Shut up!" she covered her face, "did you get laid too? Gary's friend looked hot" 

"I don't do one night stands" I gave her a horrified look, " and anyways it wouldn't be right towards Harry"

"Are you serious right now?" she took a sip of water, "I didn't think you were this naive..." she paused, "he's a pop star Jade... he will leave you as soon as he finds a new model to fuck" she chuckled

"Wow... just... wow" I stuttered 

"C'mon Jade... did you really believe that he was into you?" she insisted

"Would it be that weird?" I looked down

"I'm your friend and I'm gonna be honest... yes" she walked towards me and put her arm around me, "we all know how men behave, especially when they find themselves in such a position..." she said, "it has nothing to do with you" she finished before taking a banana and leaving me behind, confused and disappointed. I locked myself in my room and started overthinking everything. Was she right? Was I making a mistake by trusting Harry? Was he just lying? To me, he looked and sounded genuine but maybe it was true, I was just naive and easily fooled. The only thing I was sure about was that I was never gonna say what I felt to him, it would only make things worse. As I was convincing myself, my phone started ringing 

"Hello" I said

"Hi" Harry's deep voice sounded lower than usual, "did you want to tell me anything?"he asked

"N-not really..." I doubtfully replied "did you want to tell me anything?"

"What do you think?" he raised his voice, "did you have fun tonight?" 

"I know it doesn't look like it but nothing's happened" I sighed

"Someone stroking your cheeks in a club, holding your hand and leading you to his car on your way out surely doesn't look like nothing to me"

"Excuse me? what are you supposing?"

"I'm not supposing anything, I just would like an explanation" he sighed

"Why would you even want an explanation? We're friends and you will" I didn't have time to finish what I was saying because I was interrupted by him

"Friends?" he raised his voice once again, "so you're telling me you kiss all your friends the way we do, you sleep with them, you share everything with them... because I surely don't"

"No... I'm sorry" 

"Why do you keep on apologizing for the same things every fucking time?"  he frustratedly said, "tell me what you want from me"

"Look, nothing happened with that boy... Stella had left me alone in the club and I had forgotten my phone... we exited to call a cab and there were paparazzi everywhere so he politely brought me back home" I babbled

"Why did she leave you alone?" he asked

"She left with a boy... which was Luke's friend"

"I'm sorry for freaking out... you're driving me crazy and I can't control my jealousy when it comes to you" he admitted 

"It was reasonable... I tried to call you multiple times because I didn't want these kinds of misunderstandings"

"You sound low" he stated

"It's just... Stella said some things that really pissed me off today, I wish you were here and I'm tired"

"I know love..." he sighed, "what'd she say?"

"Nothing important..." I sighed, "I'll try to sleep now that we're okay... bye Harry"

"Goodnight babe" he tried to make me giggle and succeeded, "I l... I'll see you soon" he stuttered, leaving me speechless. I got the impression that he was going to say something else, something important... but it probably was just an illusion. 

I quickly fell asleep knowing that Harry and I were fine but was soon awoken by my alarm. I had totally forgotten that I had booked the studio for the following week and I was forced to go even if I hadn't slept and I was jet lagged. 

As I arrived at the studio, I was welcomed by Simon and Katherine. They were obviously mad because of what had happened the night before and I was lectured once again. I could tell Simon was really pissed but Katherine looked more nervous than angry for some reason. They told me that my behavior was ridiculous and that it looked like I didn't care about my career but they didn't let me explain myself. Throughout that unexpected meeting, they also informed me that I was going to attend the Billboard Music Awards in Los Angeles and I almost squealed at the idea of going to California. 

"The boys are also going to be there, so I expect you guys to interact with each other" Simon said before heading towards the door, "with all of them... I don't any more rumours about you and the curly boy" he closed the door behind him. 

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Writer's note:

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