How would you feel? (Harry Styles) || COMPLETED

61. Two Ghosts

July 31st 2015, Indianapolis

"Where were you, Jade?" Pat asked me as I entered my dressing room, out of breath from running faster than I had ever run, "you need to get ready, you're supposed to be on stage in half an hour"

"I'm sorry, guys" I said as I sat down. Lou immediately started doing my makeup and, as I tried to relax, my breathing started going back to its normal pace. 

I started realizing what I had overheard and panic started getting the best of me. Did Louis get a girl pregnant? Did Harry want to do something about me and Chace? Were they talking about another girl? Why did Louis tell Harry to go get high? Was he okay? Did he have some sort of problem I wasn't aware of? Why weren't they fighting in the first place?

"Lou... I was wondering... is Harry okay?" I suddenly asked her as she was applying my foundation

"I think he has a lot going on at the moment, but he won't talk about it..." she sighed, "I'm sorry about this mess, love"

As those words exited her mouth, I felt a weird tension taking over my body. My chest hurt. My breathing slowed down. I felt like I was going to die. My heartbeat sped up. I started shaking. Pat and Lou were talking to me but I couldn't focus on what they were saying. "Trust me, call him" I heard Lou saying. I felt trapped, in danger, for some weird reason. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I tried to cough but nothing came out of my mouth. Weirdly, I felt like my heart was squeezed inside my chest. I was hyperventilating. 

"Jade" I recognized a voice, "breathe with me... inhale, exhale... inhale, exhale" he said. I did as I was told because, even if at the moment I couldn't really make out who it was, I knew I could trust him. His hand took mine. He started stroking it gently. 

As my vision became less and less blurry, I slowly recognized a man bun, a white t-shirt and those features I knew far too well. I felt a weird safeness by knowing that he was there with me so, unconsciously, I squeezed his arm.

"C'mon, let's get you out of here, love" he said, before helping me stand up, "there's way too many people in this room and you need a breath of fresh air"

"Where do you think you're going?" Pat said, "she has to be on stage in ten minutes, Harry"

"Does it look like she can be on stage now?" he raised his voice, "don't piss me off, Patrick" he said before taking my hand and leading me outside. 

"Where are we going?" I suddenly asked, surprised that my voice had actually come out of my mouth 

"Where do you want to go?" he sweetly asked, "would you like to go outside? or would you prefer staying in my dressing room? I could make you a relaxing brew" 

"Are you okay Harry?" I asked as we were walking with no destination

"Sure I'm okay, why are you asking me that?" he shook his head, "right now you don't look like you're okay. We should really focus on getting you better... not on me, love" he said and I immediately stopped walking. Since we were holding hands, he did the same. I looked at him in the eyes, and with no hesitation, I wrapped my arms around his waist. From his stiffness, I could tell he had been taken by surprise but, after a few seconds, his nerves relaxed, he put his arms around my neck and pulled me even closer. I needed to feel him. I laid my head on his chest and, as I was inhaling his cologne, I felt even safer. He squeezed me and placed a sweet kiss on my forehead. I looked up and noticed he had his eyes closed like he was enjoying the moment, so I put my head down on his chest once again and did the same as him.

We held each other in the hallway for a few minutes, both speechless, before I broke away. I could tell he was disappointed by the look on his face but as I said that a brew was going to be fine, he half smiled at me. We walked towards his dressing room in silence and, as he opened the door for me, the smell that filled my lungs brought back so many memories. Harry was obsessed with candles so he always lit one that smelt like flowers up in his dressing room. He closed the door behind him and told me to go sit down while he was preparing me the tea. I looked around and noticed that the room was darker than before and emptier than usual. His Polaroid camera was on a dressing table, next to an empty marble ashtray. He had never smoke in front of me so I wondered if he had picked up the habit throughout the month but let it go as he took a seat next to me and handed me the mug.