How would you feel? (Harry Styles) || COMPLETED

15. Complicated

November 19th 2014, London

"I didn't know you'd be here" I surprisingly heard Louis' voice coming from the door. I had spent the whole day in the studio, thinking about Harry and what had happened. I was aware I shouldn't have given it too much importance but couldn't help it. I had trusted him from the moment that we met and  I didn't know why but I felt like he had something special but, for the first time in my life my sixth sense had betrayed me, I had been wrong about him.

"Been working on the EP" I smiled, "how are you?"

"Good, I just came to work on something before leaving tomorrow"

"Where are you going pop star?"

"LA" he winked, "what are you doing tonight?"

"Just chilling"

"Come with me then, we could keep each other company" and just like that I agreed. We drove to his house, which was in the same neighborhood as Harry's, and chilled for a while. I discovered we were very similar and it was easy for me to get along with him. I couldn't help but look around, I noticed he had a lot of awards on shelves and I couldn't help but wonder why Harry didn't have any at his house. He also had a lot of pictures with his bandmates, which was really cute.

Unexpectedly I heard the door bell ring, I looked at him and noticed a mischievous grin on his face. He opened the door and the first thing I saw was curly hair. I immediately frowned but tried to hide it because we were in front of Louis.

Harry stared at me but didn't say anything. I did the same. He looked amazing as usual, with ripped black skinny jeans, a black t-shirt and his boots. We remained silent and for the first time it was awkward between us.

"Why do I perceive a weird sexual tension in here?" Louis asked and Harry coughed, probably to avoid answering. He still hadn't opened his mouth, it looked like he was completely astounded.

"It's actually getting late, thank you for inviting me but I'll leave now" I spontaneously said

"It's only nine, nan" Louis laughed at me

"I will actually leave, I'm the one who interrupted whatever was going on in here" Harry finally talked, frowning at Louis

"You can stay with us" Louis smirked, "we were just ordering pizza, usual for you right?" He asked as Harry only nodded. Louis then walked upstairs and left us alone.
The silence was actually killing me and, even if I really wanted to talk to him, I didn't. Harry was still standing next to the door, looking like he had seen a ghost and was unable to move. I felt weird, kind of self conscious. He briefly looked at me and immediately looked down as he realized my eyes were on him already. He coughed, once again, removed his coat and slowly moved towards the couch. In that moment I began feeling nervous, I didn't know what to do and I wasn't sure of what to expect.

"I wanted to talk to you" he finally broke the ice, "but I wasn't sure if you'd answer if I texted you"

"You could've tried if you really wanted to" I coldly said

"Look..." he paused for a while, "I know you must think I'm a jerk but if only I could explain..."

"I gave you the chance to do so"

"I wasn't finished..." he sighed

"What did I miss?" Louis appeared from the stairs and Harry growled. 

"Nothing at all" I smiled, "are you guys excited to go to LA?" I pretended everything was okay and turned to Harry, curious to know his answer since Nadine had asked about it throughout their short phone conversation. Unluckily Louis saved his butt and said he was eager to go back but he couldn't wait to go back to Doncaster for the holidays. Harry just nodded as Louis talked but didn't say anything. 

We, then, started talking about Christmas. It was my favorite holiday and they seemed to love it very much as well. For a brief moment I felt like nothing had happened between Harry and me, we were normally talking about our adoration for Christmassy songs and I hated the effect he had on me. 

"So... Jade, you got a boyfriend?" Louis asked, smirking

"No, I was with a boy for two years but now I'm enjoying the freedom... and I wouldn't have time anyways" I looked down, feeling embarrassed for some kind of reason 

"You make time if you're really interested, don't you Harry?" he turned to Harry who didn't answer because he was caught up in his iPhone. I wondered who he was texting to and couldn't help but think about Nadine. I felt jealous and I hated the feeling. I had never felt it, not even when I was with Nick, maybe because I knew everything about him and trusted him completely. I was also aware it was stupid to feel that way, since I obviously meant nothing to Harry. 

"I haven't found the right person" I let it go and answered Louis. He smiled and looked at Harry. When their eyes met, Louis smirked. It looked like what I had just said had captured Harry's attention. He was staring at me with his deep eyes.  He didn't say anything but his face was talking for him. He was hurt and it was my fault. 

Louis finally changed the subject. We kept chatting while eating our pizzas that had arrived shortly before but Harry wasn't the same anymore. He didn't make his usual ironic comments and didn't talk much. I wasn't sure I was the reason but I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. 

"I need to leave Louis, it's getting late for real and you have a flight to catch in the morning" I stood up, "thanks for having me". Louis did the same, walked me to the door and hugged me goodbye. I turned to Harry and noticed he was putting his coat on too. 

"Bye Harry, enjoy LA" I winked, obviously taking a dig at him

"I'll drive you home" he offered 

"I'll call a cab" I refused 

"Don't be stubborn for once in your life" he said with the coldest tone he had ever used and, for some reason, I nodded. 

He said goodbye to Louis and walked towards the door. I looked paralyzed but moved as soon as I smelled his addicting cologne. I walked out of the door and noticed his Range Rover. I hopped in as he did the same. Fleetwood Mac's music played as he started the engine. 

"I consider Nadine as a friend" he suddenly said, "we met at a party through my agent and we immediately got on" he sighed, "she's a really caring girl but I don't like her that way"

"It surely looked like she was your girlfriend" I said, knowing I was probably annoying him with all these assumptions

"That's because we were both single and we..." he paused, "we kind of took advantage of that" he looked at me, "but there were never feelings involved"

"Keep your eyes on the road" I only said and didn't comment what he had just said. Once again I felt a pit in my stomach at the thought of him with another girl. 

"What were you doing at Louis'?" he asked

"He invited me" I said as he nodded

 We arrived in front of my house and I tried to open the door but he had locked it, "I could feel you'd try to escape from this conversation" he said 

"There's nothing to escape from Harry," I sighed, "you explained, I listened... there's nothing more to talk about" 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean being involved with you would be too complicated"

"I really thought you'd be different Jade..." he said, sounding even more hurt than before. I didn't say anything, he unlocked the door and I left him behind. 

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Writer's note:

Did you expect this? :)

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