How would you feel? (Harry Styles) || COMPLETED

58. My Interview

July 9th 2015, San Diego

The day had come: I had to be strong and face reality again with my head held high. The past couple of days had been... weird, challenging in a way. I did my best to not think about anything so all I did was chill out and exploring with Jack and Caleb.

After reading the letter Harry had sent me about a million times, I realized that I didn't want to do anything to fix the situation. This time, it was up to him. He couldn't think some words could save us - or our relationship. Life wasn't a rom-com. He had to work for what he wanted... if he wanted it. Honestly, I wasn't really sure about it. I didn't know if he had written it with that intention, probably not.

Truth to be told, for the first time in a month, I had actually recognized the Harry I had fallen in love with. What left me pretty speechless was the lack of explanation. He had written that he had to get better before he could talk to me but that only left me more confused than before. What was wrong with him? I could tell he was hurting but I could also tell there was something more. Something that had pissed me off was that he had also written that he didn't mean to kiss Stella. Who says something like that? How do you not mean to kiss someone? It just sounded like a lie to me. Nevertheless, I knew that we needed some time apart.

"Jade," Pat walked in the room with a nervous look on his face and interrupted my thoughts, "I have to tell you something and you're not going to like it..." he looked down, "I've just checked your schedule... and you have an interview in about ten minutes... with the boys"

"With the boys?" I freaked out, "why?"

"I don't know" he admitted, "they probably booked it because they thought it'd be good after your silence... please be as friendly as possible" he sighed, "with all of them"

"Fine" I shrugged, realizing work was more serious than this. I had anticipated that I'd have to see him backstage some time, but I didn't think the day was going to be this soon. I took a look at the mirror and thanked God for the existence of makeup, then followed my manager through the hallways. When we reached the destination (an empty room with six chairs and a couple of cameras set up), I felt my palms begin to sweat and my heart beat rising. I had thought I'd be strong and that I'd be able to face him, but I was seriously doubting it in that moment.

"Is everything okay?" Pat asked as he gently stroked my arm, "you look paler than before"

"Sure" I nodded, lying at both him and me, "where do I have to sit?" I changed the subject, trying to think about something else, and took a seat in the chair he was pointing at.

Pat and I chatted about my upcoming project, who were luckily never ending, as we waited for everybody. My life was going to be even more hectic throughout the following months because I was dropping my new single (that we still needed to choose) and my very first album. Pat also told me that, maybe, if things went well with my music, I would also have my own tour and I couldn't be more excited.

"Look who's already here" I recognized Louis' voice and my eyes lit up because having his support was the only thing that was going to get me through the interview. I quickly walked to him and hugged him tightly. He did the same and, even if we didn't say anything, I understood that he knew and he supported me.

"If it gets too much, just cough or do something to make me understand and I'll change the subject, I'm a pro at it" he winked as he took a seat on the chair next to mine.

Soon, the room was filled with people: the interviewer (a pretty girl who was very thrilled to be surrounded by One Direction and clearly less excited about my presence), camera men, the boys' team and obviously Niall, Liam and Harry. The latter looked amazing with a plain white t-shirt, his skinny jeans, and his Chelsea boots. As usual, he had politely shaken everybody's hand as he had entered the room. His eyes wandered around the room and, as our stares met, he immediately looked down. Coward - I thought in my head. He knew he was being recorded so he kindly waved at me, with the most impeccable smile, and took a seat on the furthest chair. He was very good at making people believe everything was okay between us and, in that moment, I wished I was as good as him at lying.