Compilation of short stories

Taking shelter under the cap of a red white-dotted mushroom.

Beware, there will be a genderless character in this chapter whom I'll be addressing with 'they', instead of 'it'

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Once upon a very hot summer day, a sole gnome had decided to go out on a quest to cool himself down. The sun was glaring, turning anyone who dared to go outside into a lobster within no time. And the heat was killing, making anyone sweat buckets no matter what they did. Even in the shade or inside one's own home the heat had become too unbearable to take. That is when the gnome Diphidus decided to put an end to his misery. There was a lake not too far away from his home that would definitely be able to offer him coolness. Also, right next to the lake there was an empty space between a pile of rocks, which could offer him a place with shade after he was done swimming.

He put forward his plan to his wife and sons. He hadn't expected too much from his two boys, seeing the appearance of them motionlessly laying on their beds (piles of leaves) like half-death. ''Going out in this weather is death..'', said one. ''Walking all the way there.. that must be a joke'', said the other. ''Count us out'', they said. 'They're worse than usual', the gnome father thought to himself. From his wife however, he expected a better reply. ''What nonsense!'', Diphidus said, ''The lake isn't that long of a walk, we'll be there in no time! And when we get there it will definitely be worth it.'' He looked at his wife to back him up; ''Right Edna?''. She looked at him with a slightly doubtful expression. Hm, maybe she wasn't as keen on the idea after all. ''I don't know Diphidus'', she started, ''I think the walk to the lake takes longer than you think'', she continued; ''You're not the youngest anymore either.'' Ouch. ''What if you fall and hurt your back? How will you get back home then?'' And finally: ''Maybe you better stay home as well.''

He told Edna that though he appreciated her concern, he would do just fine. And so, he went out by himself. ''She didn't have to start about my age like that'', he mumbled to himself.

After a while of walking, Diphidus was getting really tired. He was dragging his feet, panting and sweating double buckets. He was also really starting to feel the sun on his skin. He still had a bit to go, but he felt it was really time to sit down now. He looked around him in search for a spot with shade. A few meters away in the grass he saw a red white-dotted mushroom. Not the best, but it would have to do, since this part of the road to the lake was pretty much out in the open. He plopped down, took off his red pointed hat, and put it beside him. He closed his eyes and laid down completely, listening to his breathing slowing down.

When he had calmed down a bit he opened his eyes and found two pointy slime things, attached to something bigger of the same material moving right in front of him. That spooked him, making him move backwards. Now that he had some distance he was able to define just what had crept up so close to him: it was a snail. The snail lifted their feelers ''I'm sorry sir'', they said, ''I didn't mean to scare you. I wanted to ask if it was alright for me to shelter here from the sun with you.'' Diphidus sighed. Snails tend to be a bit gloomy, but aside from that, they are entirely harmless. He laid back down. ''You can, of course. This is a free forest. But you did sorta get in my personal space back there, so if you could keep a bit more distance, I'd appreciate it.'' The snail lowered their feelers, ''Understood.'' They moved back a bit. It turned silent after that for a while. Diphidus hadn't minded this at all, thinking that holding a conversation in this heat would just unnecessarily cause him to lose more energy. Taking this break was to recover his energy, so he preferred it like this. Diphidus and the snail weren't exactly seeing this the same way though. The snail was actually thinking Diphidus did mind the silence and that he was starting to feel awkward because of it. The snail felt responsible for the situation, while they had been the one to impose on him like that and thought that they should try to start a conversation to alleviate the mood.

''Do you like French cuisine?'', they asked. Diphidus wasn't sure of what they wanted with asking that sort of question. Was this the lay-out of some sort of dull snail pun? Diphidus turned his head their way hoping to find some sort of answer. In response they became fidgety and bashful. He couldn't get a clue from that. He rolled his head back in place, giving them some peace. ''I don't know'', he replied, ''not particularly. Do you?'' The snail looked happy about something. ''I don't know. I have never tried it before'', they replied plainly.

They didn't proceed to say anything after that, to Diphidus' utter confusion, simply letting the conversation die. He turned his head to look at their face again, but it looked like they didn't find anything to be out of the ordinary at all. 'What the..?'

Just when Diphidus was about to let it rest, the snail started talking again: ''But I do know why the French like to eat snails.''

They paused, leaving room for suspense.

''It's because they don't like fast food.''

-an appropriate amount of silence-

''What is your name?'', Diphidus asked. ''Peter'', the snail replied.

Diphidus: ''Peter.''

Peter: ''Yes?''

Diphidus: ''I like you.''

Peter: ''Thanks.''

Diphidus: "A lot."

Peter: "...Thanks."

After that Diphidus started heading to the lake again. It wasn't very far anymore. As he was walking he was thinking about what had happened back there. He hadn't expected that snail to come out of their shell like that. 'Were they from this area', he wondered. 'Don't think I've seen the fellow around anywhere here before.' Not that it was all easy to discern one snail from the other. You had to know your snail for that. And even if you did, if two of them swapped shells, it would be over. A snail's shell is pretty much the only thing you can tell them apart by, so if they lose that, they becomes indistinguishable.

Come to think about it... Why didn't they just use their shell to protect themselves from the sun?! They carried a sun-shield with them right on their back! If they used that, they wouldn't ever need some strange mushroom or whatever to shade them.. So, why?! Really, what the...

I need a plunge.

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1 Mei, 2017.

Well, that was the first short story then, hope you enjoyed! *wiggles eyebrows.