Compilation of short stories

The life of a very experienced adult.

'I'm an experienced person with a lot of experience. I think you deserve to experience my experienced persona and let me work at your shop for the time being. I think that would turn into a great experience for the both of us. Don't you agree? Yes? Yes. I thought so. Thank you very much for your time and I'll be back here tomorrow then.'

Yes.

Yes, that sounded good. This was how you decided your conversation would be going, internally.

You would come on as a confident person with a lot of confidence. One, with a lot of experience, too, and they would just beg you to come work for them. That was how this was going to work. This was going to go great. Perfect for sure. Yes, most certainly yes. You were ready!

This is what you told yourself as you prepared to head out to go get yourself a job at your favorite shop. With a final, internal, 'Let's do this!', as you wink at yourself in the mirror, you go off.

You're at the store now.

''Can I help you?'', the employee whose attention you just called, asks. He is staring at you.

''Uh..''

What were you going to say again..? Oh, right!

''I am a very experienced person!'', you blurt out. He stares at you strangely. It takes you a couple of seconds to realize why. When your mistake registers you mentally face-palm yourself.

''No. I mean, are you still looking for experienced people?'' Slowly a smile starts to form at his lips. This wasn't going as planned. He still isn't saying anything back to you though and you're not sure why he isn't, so you ask again. ''Are you?''

''Experienced people for what?'', he asks.

You feel stupid.

''To.. to work here..'', you stammer, feeling rather embarrassed.

He hums. ''We sure are.'' He confirms and you smile hopeful. ''You know where we could find us some?'' You feel dead inside.

You're about to make a U-turn and abort your mission when he starts laughing. He tells you you can come for a job interview the next morning and you can hardly believe it. You stare at him for a moment, wondering how in the world. You can only bring out a ''Really..?''.

Not even you would have let you have a job interview after this!

''You're funny and we do need some extra hands'', he tells you with a slight smile and a wink.

It hits you how 'funny' in this situation is actually the polite way of calling you 'stupid'. But that wasn't what he said, nor could you exactly have given him wrong if he had, so you politely smile back at him and thank him so so super much.

''See you tomorrow then'', he says, as you turn on your heels to leave. You return a 'tomorrow' back to him.

This really hadn't been what you were going for. God, it hadn't. But at least you still had a chance at the job, so it could've been worse, you guess.

''Oh'', he calls out after you before you're gone, ''don't forget your resumé!''

You thank him again for the reminder.

''Haha'', you laugh to yourself. He thinks you're an absolute idiot now.

_____________________________________________________

07 june, 2017.

Sometimes it doesn't matter you came across as an idiot because you got the job.