Chapter 20

2.6K 70 3
                                    

I lay in Harrys arms, unable to sleep. I just stared at the ceiling letting all my irrational fears creep into my mind. I was tempted to wake Harry up, just so I wouldnt feel alone. I know he wouldnt mine staying up with me, but I decided against it and let him get some sleep. The only thing comforting me were his quiet snores. I thought back to when we first started dating. When I would wake up before him, I would watch him sleep -it sounds creepy, but it wasnt-. He looked so innocent, so cute, like a little kitten. How could I fall out of love with him? Did I even fall out of love? Im very confused. I cant say now. I know he loves me. He says it every five seconds. He even said it in his sleep once. If I didnt love him back, would he be crushed/ He I crushed him, I dont know what I would do. I dont think I could do something that would kill him inside. Whatever, I should stop thinking so much. Im really hurting my brain. Maybe I should just stop thinking about Harry. Well them what would I think about. Lately all I think about is not loving him and breaking his heart. Maybe that means I do love him. He fills my every though, when Im not thinking about the monsters under my bed. Maybe I should think about them more often, the monsters. Maybe I should be scared instead of sad. Maybe I should stop saying maybe and just do something. Ugh, how did my life go to hell so fast. One day, and everything changed. That one day was when Harry left for the second time. When he stopped calling. I was so mad at him. I called everyday, texted him every night, did everything I could to get him to talk to me. He just ahhhhh!

"Ow" a grumble came from next to me

"What?" I asked

"Did you just hit me?" he asked

Did I? I started laughing "Did I?"

He sat up and rubbed his arm "Ya I think you did"

I sat up with him and and laughed harder "Sorry"

He smiled and grabbed me "I'll get you back, just wait" he whispered in my ear

I stopped laughing and turned to face Harry. He stared at me and started to lean in. I thought a moment before filling the space between us. Our lips connected, but I didnt feel the usual rush of joy. I still loved his kisses, but they just didnt make me feel the same.

"I love you" he whispered on my lips

I didnt say anything. He pulled away and looked at me confused

When I still didnt say anything, his expression slowly faded into hurt   

"Well aren't you gonna say something. I dont know like 'I love you too' or at least 'me too'"

I stared into his hurt eyes and shook my head. He got up and walked out of my room. I followed him.

"Harry" I whispered "Harry please come back. I need you" 

I saw his figure standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Harry" I sped up to get to him. I reached out and grabbed his hand and entwined our fingers. "Harry, I love you"

I really wanted him to come back. I didnt want to be in the room alone, and I really wanted him to hold me.

"Please come back. Please I dont want to be alone. I want you to hold me and say you love me" I leaned into him. He put his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "I love you" I said again

"I love you too" he whispered and walked with meback to my room

...................

OMG ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPDATED AND I'M SOOOO SORRY!!!!!

-Love ya xx

One Direction Bullied Me (Harry Styles)Where stories live. Discover now