Imperfect Introvert

Chapter 8 - What went wrong?

Amanda

This week had been as amazing. So this other day I was walking to the school, really windy day.

It had poured a little but other than that the weather was pleasant.

Actually it was too soon to be stated as pleasant because a damn tree fell on me.

No dude, I am not joking...It really happened.

Well I was about to enter through the school gate when all of a sudden a sandstorm emerged and blinded my sight.

The next I know is that I am on the ground and a big damn tree is on top of me. I was trapped like a mouse in a mousetrap. Helpless and very much scared.

Somehow I removed the branches from the place and made my way out.

I ran to my school as soon as I could, terrorised, muddy, dirty and after sometime I realised bloody too.

I rushed to the medical room and got all cleaned.

The best part is no one, no freaking person helped me...I could have DIED.

Okay maybe I am overreacting but you don't know what it is like when you have almost or a nearly death experience.

My left hand and right leg were both badly injured but you know what I didn't go back to my house I remained in the school for the whole DAMN day.

The next was that I had to write a hell lot with my injured left hand and I didn't even get sympathy from the heartless humans we also call as teachers or professor whatever you call them.

I am a lefty or a left handed person...shocking?? Well what is not shocking and unique about my life.

Even better was that the next day I would have to walk five kilometers to that holy place by my injured and paining foot and I cannot deny going there coz that would be equivalent to a sin.

Actually some of the distance is covered by copter then the remaining five kilometers are covered by foot.

My life was still not happy with what is going on that it suddenly started to rain and they said that copter could not function until the weather clears.

So for six hours I waited for the weather to clear out, just crossing my fingers that it might clear out or else I would have to walk twenty four kilometers with completely bruised legs.

The weather cleared and I would absolutely Thank God for that. So I did walk five kilometers but well it was really good in compare to twenty four isn't it??

After we had returned after visiting the holy temple of our goddess we returned to our hotel and decided to rest for sometime and then get ready for our train which was at eleven.

So when I woke up my head was paining and so were my hands and feet. But when I heard shouting in the room, I bolted to sit upright.

“For the next time book our tickets seperately..Mine and Andrew’s separate from yours..” My mother shouted at the top of her voice.

What pained me was not that they were fighting, that was like a part of my life, what hurted was that mom didn't mention me with her. Only Andrew, as if I was never born.

It was Andrew. Andrew this and Andrew that, there never was Amanda, until it was for her own benefit.

Have I lost my mother?? Did I ever have one??

I thought to that one time my parents almost got divorced. I was four at that time and Andrew wasn't even in existence. Only me and my mother.

This one day they had a terrible fight over I don't know what and mom packed her bags along with mine and the pair of us left the house. We went straight to grandma’s house.

For a month or two we remained there. I loved my grandma, she always loved me no matter what.

Then one day my mum said she is taking me to a mall and she left me at my dad's place.

I kept crying and weeping and begging her to take me back with her, but she left me there.

After some weeks this small broken innocent little girl had somehow learned to spend her time and live without her mother.

Then she returned and all the adults had a long conversation in which I swear that I heard my dad saying something about a divorce.

I maybe just four at the time but I knew what it meant. So this means that I would have to live with only one of my most loved persons, either dad or mom.

Somehow when the room opened the thing about divorce was somehow dissolved and I thought everything was fine.

I ran to my mum and hugged her tight.

She said to get back to grandma’s room and sleep with her instead of sleeping with her.

I completely revolted against it but I was forced to do so, so after sometime I got used to it.

I spent most of my time with my grandma in her room. Eventually I and my mother slowly distanced out..she kept shoving me away from her because of their fights and then suddenly claim that I am hers after sometime.

It was like sometimes I feel accepted by her and manier times as if I am no one to her.

I got close to my grandma and eventually even more distanced from my mother.

But it wasn't my fault...I tried to get close to her...but well I felt like I never belonged with her..

Well maybe I didn't try hard enough to get her love.

She is a lovely person no doubt just that the thing is...whatever is happening or has happened had changed her and maybe even changed me..

We returned by the train and all of us skipped our dinner as none of us had the desire to eat.

In the train I wanted so bad to let it all out, just cry in front of everyone but I managed myself.

The funny thing is that the first thing I prayed to the goddess or every morning is that everything that is wrong in my family settles out and we could live happily as a family.

I think my wish or prayer or whatever just faded in between before reaching her or any other god for that matter..

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A big big big big apology for the late update...I am sorry people...would be frequent with the others…

I hope you like this one..

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Love, Alex