John's POV
"John what the fuck?" Hercules says.
"Can we just watch the film?" I respond and he nods.
"John, I'm sorry"
"For what, Peggy?"
"I shouldn't have shown you these photos"
"It fine, it isn't your fault. It's mine, I need to apologize to Alex" I say and as I was about to stand up from the couch, Angelica grabs my arm.
"No John, I think he needs some time to think it through" she says and I nod.
"How about you spend the rest of the night at our dorm and apologize to Alexander in the morning?" Lafayette suggests.
"Yeah" I say.
Alex's POV
I basically throw myself on my bed, and bury my face in pillows and blankets.
God, I'm such a failure.
Tears threaten to spill out of the corner of my eyes. And when they do, they turn into quiet sobs.
The thoughts overcome my mind and I drift off into a deep sleep.
John's POV
Everyone has fallen asleep by the time the movie finished, except from me.
I glance at my phone.
10:14 PM
I wasn't planning on staying like I said I would. I need to apologize to Alexander.
I carefully untangle myself from everyone else's grip and tip toe quitely into the corridor. I grab my coat from the hanger and as I'm about to put my shoes on, a shadow creeps behind me.
"Où pensez-vous que vous allez?"
I jump and quickly turn around to see Lafayette leaning against the door frame, with his arms folded.
"You know that I don't undestand French, you dumb baguette" I sassily exclaim.
"I said 'Where do you think you are going?'" He cocks up one of his eyebrows.
"Dorm. Why?"
"You said you were going to stay"
"Well yeah but I need to say sorry to Alexander"
"He's probably asleep"
"Alexander isn't Alexander if he doesn't sleep. So he's probably not asleep"
"Fine. But don't start anymore fights, please?"
"I won't. Thanks Laf" I shout, running out of their dorm.
****
I walk into our dorm and take off my jacket and shoes. Taking a deep breath, I walk into the room to see Alexander asleep. I guess this gives me some time to think. I sit on the end of his bed and look at his sleeping figure.
He's so gorgeous.
The way his unruly hair sweeps over his face.
The way he takes his deep breaths that sound like a sweet lullaby.
Everything about him was so
Eccentric.
After a couple of minutes, he begins to shuffle and turn. Not long after, his pretty, brown eyes flutter open. His gaze shifts to me.
"John? What are you doing here?" he says and sits up.
I move closer to him and say:
"I came to apologize"
"Oh" He looks down.
"Look Alexander-"
"John save your apologies, I don't need them" He cuts me off.
"Just fucking listen to me, goddamnit!"
"Why?"
"Because you're acting like a little bitch! All you do is cry about your problems instead of facing them!" I shout and stand up. He does the same.
He tries to hold back his tears and says:
"Atleast I don't cry because I didn't have sex with you!"
Oh my god.
I remember now.
I remember all of it.
How Peggy comforted me because Alex didn't want to have sex.
How I thought he didn't like me.
How we kissed and held hands.
"W-what? Atleast-...Atleast I'm not a bastard and an orphan!"
Alexander's POV
He said that. He really did.
I let my tears spill.
They trickle one by one. Sometimes two at a time. His gaze is full of anger but when he sees my salty tears his vision softens. John reaches out to wipe them but I smack his hand away.
"Go" I say.
"Alexander-"
"Please John. Just please go"
"Fine" he snaps and walks away.
Why? Why did he say that? How could he say that?
I thought he was different, I really did. I guess this teaches me not to get my hopes up. Again
When my mother was dying, I thought she was going to get better. When my father left, I thought he'll come back. When the hurricane swept everyone off of their feet, I thought they were going stand back up.
It's all the same. Like an endless cycle.
Woahhh, angst? whats that? oh yeah something im v v v v v terrible at lmao oops. anywaysss, WRONG MOVE JOHNY BOY! shouldnt have done that. poor alex :( its always the smol bean who gets hurt isnt it? if the french is incorrect blame google translate. ive been doing french for 2 years and im not fluent. so, sorry. Have a good day, stay safe and alive <3
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something they can never take away ≠ lams
Fanfiction"He desired to have Laurens' intoxicating touch examine his body. Oh how he wished to have those sharp nails dig into his back. And how he wished Johny Boy would softly moan his name or how he would faintly pull on Alexander's neck with his teeth, l...
