i feel sick
my insides are all twisted as if
someone's wringing out my guts
like a damp and filthy rag
too tight too tight
and i want to vomit but all i puke up
is your name and a little blood
it's so wrong for you to taste like that,
like bitterness and metal and
love-hate
when all i got is love for you
there's cupid cowering in the corner
crushing a cyanide pill
between pearly whites because
he got us wrong and he sees it now
and the arrow in my eye
is the greatest despair of his days
because if this love doesn't atrophy
i will
that's right
kill yourself, you bastard
chemicals, a killer
circulating in the shallow waters
above my eye line
like crocodiles in a moat, closing
powerful jaws around unsuspecting prey
am i the prey or you?
i pull a tooth from my shin
taking pleasure, for a second, in the pain
there's my answer
swim away girl
there's nothing in this castle, this relic
but cobwebs and delusions
of the life we could have lived as one
if cupid had only hit my heart
if he'd only hit yours
if only you'd love me like i need you to
shit, i can already feel it
razor sharp wire coiled around
red tissue, red only for you
so don't jerk your hand away too fast
your little finger might just kill me
and i might just be happy to see
pieces of my heart
bleeding out through my ribs;
out through the hole in my chest
roughly the size of your closed fist
go ahead, a souvenir
hope you had a good holiday
unfortunately for me, this is my home
and there's no way off this island
except to drown in a high tide
or give in to a kind of madness
that only the lonely people know
so get out
leave
while you still have a chance
(you can look back if you want to)
please don't think less of me
for preemptively distinguishing hope
but hope and i go way back
she tried to kill me so many times
only, she lacked the right ammunition
so i can't let her find her bullet
i can't let her find
you
i'm going to tell you i'll miss you
and you'll say we could have been friends
but in the end, only one of us is lying
and i'm never going to stop missing you
