Cruel Laughter [Sequel To "Because He Lived."]

{Chapter 6} Change of Heart

"Freak!"  the boy shouted as he kicked me again. I hit the back wall, not caring anymore. I had fought enough, and there wasn't any fight left in me. I couldn't oppose them no matter how much I tried. "Stay away from us you insane freak."

"I think the freak likes it," snickered one of the other boys. I blurred out their faces, it was better if I didn't remember them; I wouldn't want to hurt them later. I wouldn't want revenge.

I whimpered, trying to respond. "I-I don't l-like it..."

One of the boys glared down at me, and spat, "Shut up." Curling up in a ball, I tried to ignore the rest of the insults thrown at me, but it was hard. The insults, kicks and punches kept being thrown at me, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

One of the smaller boys at the back of the group spoke up. "I think he's had enough..." He was the only face I couldn't zone out. It was still hard for me to believe that someone so nice could even participate in something like this. Alexander Zvhal took a step forward so he was closer to me.

A boy--the one who was beating me up--shot him a glare. "Shut up, Alex. The little freak deserves this."

"I-I don't think he does," Alexander said quietly. I glanced up at him confused. Why was he standing up for me? "W-We should leave him alone..."

The boy scoffed, and nearly laughed. "Do you see what he does? He laughs when someone gets hurt! That's disgusting! Since he enjoys pain so much we should make him hurt."

"But he hasn't hurt anyone... Don't you think we shouldn't hurt him?"

"He deserves this! I think those fathers' of yours are drilling ideas into your head that don't need to be there, Alexander! Are you one of them? A homo?"

Alexander winced, and then glared up at the boy. "Don't talk about my fathers like that! They're way better people than you will ever be." Alex made his way over to me and extended his hand. I took it cautiously, not sure if it was a joke. I was expecting him to drop me and join the other boys again, but he didn't. He helped me up, and then turned to face the other boys. "I'm done with you people. I don't need to be around people like you." Alexander gripped my wrist, and pulled me away while the other boys watched in confusion and frustration.

"This isn't over, Alexander! You better watch your back!" The boy shouted as we walked out of the building.

"Why did you help me?" I mumbled.

"Huh?"

"I wanted to know why you helped me? It doesn't benefit you at all."

He shrugged. "I don't think you're a bad person. You just have something wrong with your mind, and that's all. We're not that different really, we both have something wrong with our minds that we can't fix."

I looked at him, confused. First he helps me, and then he confesses something to me that I never knew. He never acted different, like there was something wrong with him. "What's wrong with you?"

"Well, you see... You know my parents?"

"Yeah. Garroth and Laurence."

"Well, I think I may be like them... That I might like guys... But I don't know... And everyone says that it's wrong, so I try and fix myself, but I can't. Nothing I do makes it go away." Tears formed at the edge of his eyes, and he quickly wiped them away.

"I-I don't think that there is anything wrong with that. I don't think it's something you can really fix, and I don't think you should fix it. It is part of you, just like my insanity. It is what makes you, well, you," I explained. I saw a small smile form on his lips, and then fade away.

"Thank you, James."

"It's not a problem, Alexander," I replied.

He nodded, "Do you mind if I hug you?"

"Uh... I guess I don't." He smiled and pulled me into a hug. I awkwardly hugged him back, wrapping my arms around him in a friendly embrace.

~

I shot up, breathing heavily and sweating. My eyes darted around the clearing, taking in the details as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. It had to be around midnight now. The stars were clear in the sky, and the moon shone brightly in the sky. Arsen was asleep across the clearing, clutching his sword in one hand.

I thought back to the dream and sighed. Sometimes I missed the times when I could act normal, sometimes I wish I wasn't insane. I wanted to go back to Phoenix Drop and take everything I had done back, I wish I could reverse time. The memories--which had only days ago--brought me pleasure, brought me pain. And for once in a long time, I felt guilty. Was it me remembering Alexander? The only real friend I ever had? The only person who was there for me? There was no taking back what I had done, all I could do now was pay for my crimes.

I accepted that I was insane and I couldn't fix it along time ago. I was okay with it. But for once, in a long time, I wished I was normal, and I could love someone--something--normally.

I wanted to take back every murder and killing I ever committed. I wanted to reverse every mistake I ever made. Remorse. Guilt. They were all new, and they made me suffer. But I deserved it.

I settled it with myself; I was going to go back to Phoenix Drop, and pay for my crimes. Maybe die for them. Whatever gave me this change of heart so soon, better be worth it.

There in the darkness and silence of the night, I packed up my thing. My old sword. Not the one I took as a trophy. I placed that one against a tree, carving something into the tree. In memory of Kayden. Killed by a merciless, cruel, insane bastard. May you rest in peace. On a spare piece of parchment I scribbled a note for Arsen, telling him not to come looking for me. I needed to do this on my own.

I wasn't cured of my insanity, that was impossible: but I had a change of heart. Pain would always bring me pleasure, but I would fight it. I wouldn't be the same person--no thing. I was before.

The moons light illuminated woods, as I made my away through them and to my home.

~

"The scariest monsters are the ones that lurk within our souls."- Edgar Allen Poe.

~

Phew, what a long chapter.

Thank you everyone for all the votes and reads, I really appreciate it.

I also want to let everyone know, things are going to get a little deeper and darker in this story--if you can't already tell.

One other thing, I wanted to ask if you guys want a little romance in the story. It won't be the main focus, but it will be important. Let me know your opinions in the comments.

Have a good day!